Bears. Tariffs. Slowing Economy. What is Going On?

The Numbers Don't Lie (Unless Michael Scott is Involved)

As Assistant Regional Manager (and volunteer Sheriff's Deputy) I Dwight K. Schrute take economic indicators very seriously. More seriously than Michael takes sensitivity training which is saying something. The so called 'experts' predict a measly 125,000 new jobs in May. A pittance! A disgrace! This after an already pathetic 177,000 in April. If this trend continues we'll all be selling beets to survive. And you know what? Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Beets sustain you like nothing else. They have mystical properties.

Tariffs: The Silent Killer (Like a Rabid Squirrel)

These 'tariffs' are like a rabid squirrel gnawing at the foundations of our economic well being. President Trump a man of strong hands and even stronger opinions is negotiating. But negotiations are for the weak. Strength is the only measure that matters! Like when I overpowered that bat in the office. Although I must admit I do respect the strategic thinking of a cornered animal. Just like a good farmer we must brace ourselves. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Recession? False. (Unless Phyllis Gets Involved)

Some are whispering the dreaded 'R' word – recession. Preposterous! Unless of course Phyllis is in charge of the economy. Her oven mitts would surely lead us to ruin. A drop below 100,000 new jobs and people start panicking. Panic is for the unprepared. The Schrutes are always prepared. We have a bunker stocked with enough beet juice to last us through the apocalypse. The early bird gets the worm but the early beet farmer gets the...well more beets!

Data: The Good the Bad and the Michael Scott

We're bombarded with 'data' – manufacturing surveys sentiment gauges. All saying the economy is… flagging? Balderdash! Data can be manipulated. Just like Michael manipulates office morale with his… unique brand of humor. I trust hard work loyalty and the unwavering principles of beet farming. If you can't grow a beet you can't run an economy.

The Fed: Meddling or Savior? (Probably Meddling)

The Federal Reserve is watching the numbers like a hawk. Are they going to lower interest rates? Raise them? Honestly who cares? Interest rates are for accountants and paper pushers. I deal in the tangible – earth seeds and the satisfying crunch of a freshly harvested beet. These modern economist are as useless as 'HR' at Dunder Mifflin.

Unemployment? Not on My Watch! (Unless You're Toby)

The unemployment rate is hovering around 4.2%. Acceptable. But if Toby Flenderson loses his job that number instantly becomes too high. Toby is a drain on society. His presence lowers the overall IQ of any room he enters. We must strive for peak efficiency a lean mean beet growing machine! That my friends is the Schrute way. Now back to work! Or as I like to say 'Work is worship. I worship work.'