Canada Goose Flies High, Then Chickens Out: A Spartan's Take

By The Allfather! Profits Soar!

Hmph. I Kratos have seen more impressive feats from a squirrel. But even I cannot deny the numbers. Canada Goose purveyor of overpriced feathers has somehow managed to claw its way above expectations. Their coffers swelled with 33 Canadian cents per share a meager sum that surpassed the feeble Wall Street whispers of 23 cents. Revenue reached CA$384.6 million enough to buy a decent sized axe perhaps two. They claim a 7.4% increase from last year. So they thrive for now. But what is next? Do not be sorry be better!

Fear Grips the Geese?

Bah! These… 'executives' speak of 'macroeconomic uncertainty.' They tremble before the whims of the market like frightened children before a Draugr. They retract their 2026 forecast citing 'dynamic consumer spending patterns.' Excuses! The Aesir themselves would scoff at such cowardice. They claim their brand is strong. Let us see if it can withstand the winter of discontent. Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.

From Parkas to… Eyewear?

The fools diversify! They dabble in 'rain jackets' and 'warm weather clothing.' As if a mere change of fabric can shield them from the storm. They boast of 'eyewear,' launched online. A 'key milestone,' they cry. More like a desperate lunge for relevance. They are as predictable as they are foolish and I would know.

Luxury's Lament

They are not alone in their apprehension. Others the likes of LVHM Burberry and Kering also report… 'slowdown.' The gods of luxury are displeased. The mortals' hunger for opulence wanes. Perhaps they should try wielding the Leviathan Axe see if that sharpens their focus.

Stock Plunge

The numbers are not always in their favour. The company's shares had plummeted nearly 14% year to date their worth dwindling to an all time low. I find it funny that a company named after a bird cannot seem to fly high.

Adapt or Perish!

They claim to be 'adapting to changing conditions.' Good. Adapt or perish. The world shows no mercy nor do I. Remember this son when the time comes you must be ready to fight for what is yours. Or be prepared to give it all away.