Boy! Alphabet's Q1 Earnings: More Green Than the Fields of Greece!

By the Gods Numbers!

Hmph. Alphabet... the name sounds like a child's toy. Yet it seems this 'toy' has filled its coffers handsomely. Revenue is up earnings are up... It seems even mortals can achieve power albeit through spreadsheets and algorithms. Their revenue stands at $90.23 billion surpassing the pitiful $89.12 billion analysts predicted. Fools! I know numbers! I have counted the bodies of my enemies BY THE THOUSANDS!

YouTube's Offerings... Acceptable.

YouTube a place where mortals stare blankly at moving pictures. They claim to have made $8.93 billion. Barely enough. One must feed the masses to rule them as they are easily amused. The clouds also generated $12.26 billion. Acceptable mortal. More importantly is the 12% year over year growth. Better than expected.

AI: The New Blades of Chaos?

AI Overviews a supposed tool of great insight now engages 1.5 billion users monthly. Is this progress or merely a distraction from the inevitable chaos? Like the Blades of Chaos this 'AI' can be a powerful weapon or a dangerous burden. It is up to the user to make the right choice.

Trump and the Trade Winds of Fate!

This 'Trump,' a leader among mortals threatens to disrupt the flow of gold with his trade decisions. The ending of some exemption will impact advertising revenue especially from the East. These mortals bicker over trinkets while the true threats loom! But I will not be entangled in their squabbles of economics! These temporary impediments will hardly pose as threats!

Cloudy with a Chance of Margins!

Alphabet's cloud computing business shows a 28% increase with margins rising to 17.8%. Another triumph? Perhaps. But even the highest cloud can be shattered by a god's rage. They have bought this 'Wiz' for billions of coin! It is for cloud security they say! Pathetic!

Waymo's Autonomous... Errands?

They speak of 'Waymo,' a unit that transports mortals without drivers. Is this progress or a sign of their weakening? They are progressing! More rides are being autonomously driven now. The Board has authorized the repurchase of shares too. These mortals play their games of finance. Such is their nature.