Best Buy's Having a Meltdown? Time to Grab Some Bargains (and Maybe a Bazooka)

Oh Noes Best Buy's Got the Blues!

Okay so I heard Best Buy's whining about money. Apparently some 'tariffs' are making their stuff cost more. Tariffs schmariffs what's next taxes on explosions? CFO Matt Bilunas (who even names their kid Matt???) is blaming everything on 'consumer behavior.' Bah! Sounds like a perfect excuse to cause some glorious mayhem. Maybe I'll 'adjust consumer behavior' with a rocket or two! Remember rules are meant to be broken... like buildings! *giggles*

Trump's Trade War: More Like a Trade Bore!

Apparently Trump's causing a ruckus with his 'trade policy.' Abercrombie & Fitch and Macy's are crying too! It's like a symphony of sadness! All I hear is violin music where's my BOOMBOOM! They're acting like it's the end of the world. I say more chaos means more fun! Time to grab Fishbones and teach these companies how to really adapt. 'Here comes the pain!'

CEO Corie's 'Strategic Priorities' AKA Blah Blah Blah!

Corie Barry is blabbing about 'improving customer experience' and 'driving efficiency.' Sounds like a snoozefest! Efficiency? Where's the fun in that? I'm all about inefficiency! Let's make things LESS efficient! Imagine the glorious chaos! She wants to control costs and 'fund strategic investments.' How about investing in more explosions? Now that's a strategy I can get behind! 'Questions? I have questions you will never answer!'

Numbers Numbers Everywhere! (But Not Enough Explosions)

Earnings per share: blah blah blah. Revenue: yadda yadda yadda. All I see are numbers going down and that makes me sad! Where's the upward trend? Oh I know! How about the upward trend of a rocket taking off? That's the kind of 'growth' I like to see! 'Surprise! I'm back!'

Less Drones More Boom!

People aren't buying as many home theaters appliances or... *gasp* drones! What is the world coming to?? Drones are practically explosions waiting to happen! Okay fine computing mobile phones and tablets are selling okay. But honestly give me a drone with some rockets attached any day! 'Ta da!'

Time to Exploit the Discounts (and Maybe the Store Itself)

Best Buy's stock is down nearly 17%! Sounds like a fire sale waiting to happen! Maybe I can snag a sweet deal on some gadgets before they raise prices. Or you know just blow the whole place up and take what I want! It's all about perspective right? 'Think I'm crazy? You should see me when I'm mad!'