Microsoft's Fiscal Forecast: Need a Weapon?

Lock and Load: Earnings Incoming

Alright Spartans listen up. Microsoft is about to drop its fiscal third quarter numbers. The brass expects earnings per share of $3.22 and revenue of $68.42 billion. That revenue projection means growth is slowing down to a measly 10.6%. Even I can run faster than that! Seems like someone needs a speed boost.

Trump's Tariffs: Covenant or Corporate?

But here's where things get hairy. Apparently this whole tariff business is causing some turbulence. Old Ballmer chimed in saying tariffs are "not good." No duh! Nadella's trying to stay cool saying they'll adapt. But let's be real adjusting to economic shifts is about as fun as fighting the Flood in a darkened corridor. And just as ugly.

AI Data Centers: Shiny New Toys

Microsoft's throwing $80 billion at AI data centers. Eighty BILLION! That's enough to build a few Halo rings. CFO Amy Hood's already talking about slowing down spending growth in 2026. It's like they gave the Rookie a plasma rifle and then told him to conserve ammo. Meanwhile Azure cloud services (sans AI) are underperforming. Seems like someone forgot to calibrate their aim.

Stock Blues: Feeling a Little Down?

The stock's down 7% this year. Even the S&P 500 is only down 5%. Maybe they need a new paint job. Or a shield generator. Point is things are a bit rocky. "I need a weapon."

OpenAI: Shifting Alliances

Speaking of rocky Microsoft and OpenAI are tweaking their relationship. Microsoft gets first dibs on new computing capacity but doesn't HAVE to deliver it. And OpenAI's buddying up with Oracle and SoftBank on the Stargate AI project. Sounds like a ceasefire to me.

Stand By For Guidance: Nadella's Orders

So there you have it. Microsoft's got a few battles ahead. Nadella and the execs will be on a call with analysts later laying out the plan. Let's hope they have a better strategy than the Covenant. Cortana any thoughts? "I have them all. All of them. Even the ones they don't know they have."