Stellantis Pulls a Pinocchio: Financial Guidance Gets the Boot! (Somebody Get the Ogre)

Whoa Donkey's Breaking News!

Alright alright settle down everybody! Donkey's here with the REAL scoop! Stellantis you know the big cheese that makes all those cars people love... or tolerate... well anyway they're pulling back their financial guidance. That's right folks they're saying 'no no not me' to predicting the future and it's all because of some fella named Trump's back and forth trade policy! Trade policy? Sounds like something Puss in Boots would be into. Oooooh!

Revenue? More Like 'Re GONE ue!'

So get this! Their revenue took a nosedive! Like when I tried to fly without Dumbo's magic feather. They raked in about 35.8 billion euros – that’s a LOT of onions Shrek! But get this that's a 14% DROP! They said the fall was due to shipping fewer cars people not buying the right cars and prices going back to normal. Normal? What's normal? I like weird! Does this mean I can finally ask Fiona for a raise?

Trump's Trade Shenanigans: A Real Pain in the Tail!

Apparently this Trump fella is causing all sorts of trouble. I dunno about all this fancy talk about trade policies but if it’s messing with my chance of getting a carrot cake then I got a problem with it! 'Cause nobody messes with Donkey's carrot cake!

Jeep Dodge Fiat... Oh My! Are they okay?!

This whole thing has got me worried! What's gonna happen to Jeep? To Dodge? To Fiat and Chrysler? And who's Peugeot? Sounds like a fancy pigeon to me. Are they gonna be alright? Somebody get Shrek! He always knows what to do... well most of the time.

Uncertainty? Sounds Like My Love Life!

Uncertainty is a terrible thing folks. It’s like not knowing if Dragon is gonna breathe fire when I give her a hug! It's scary! And it sounds like Stellantis doesn't know what's coming either which is why they're playing it safe. Smart move I guess. Unlike the time I tried to outsmart Puss in Boots… that ended poorly. (He has those eyes man.)

Refresh for Updates! Or Just Come Talk to Donkey!

So there you have it! All the juicy details Donkey style! Keep refreshing for updates or just come on over to the swamp! I'll tell you a story maybe sing you a song... or just annoy you with my endless chatter. Either way it'll be an adventure! 'Cause that's what friends are for!