Zoom, Snowflake, Urban Outfitters, and Lumen Technologies - It's Getting Hot Out Here!

Zoom Zoom Zoom Going to the Moon?

Alright check it. Word on the street – or rather the internet – is that Zoom Communications is making moves. Shares are lookin' up about 1% after hours and that's nothin' to sneeze at. They're throwin' out some big numbers for 2026 seein' revenue between $4.80 billion and $4.81 billion. Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a lotta zero's! Analysts were expectin' less so looks like Zoom is gonna need a Neuralyzer for these guys erase what they thought before. They also had a better than expected adjusted earnings for the last quarter. It's like I always say 'A stellar earnings report is like a good suit: Makes you look good and feel even better.'

Snowflake's Cool Runnings

Next up we got Snowflake. Stock's jumpin' more than 6% after hours. Apparently their first quarter was pretty solid. Adjusted earnings hit 24 cents a share which is more than the 21 cents those LSEG folks were guessin'. Second quarter revenue also looking good. Snowflake has got some real ice in their veins.

Urban Outfitters Dressed to Impress

Yo check it Urban Outfitters is on fire! Shares are soaring over 9% after hours. They're makin' serious bank with an EPS of $1.16 smashin' past the Street estimate of 84 cents. Revenue's also up comin' in at $1.33 billion. Looks like they got somethin' everyone wants. They are making me want to upgrade my suit Kay

Lumen's Fiber Optic Flight

Now this is where things get interesting. Lumen Technologies is jumpin' 15% after AT&T decided to buy a big chunk of their Mass Markets fiber internet business. We talkin' a $5.75 billion deal expected to close in the first half of 2026. It's like watchin' a supernova baby! AT&T they stayed pretty chill. Sometimes the biggest deals are the quietest. You know like when I Neuralyzed that whole crowd at the World's Fair. *snap*

The Bottom Line: Keep Your Eyes Peeled

So there you have it. A wild ride in the after hours stock market. Zoom's reachin' for the stars Snowflake's chillin' with the big boys Urban Outfitters is struttin' their stuff and Lumen's makin' deals. The only thing predictable about the market is that it's unpredictable. You gotta stay sharp keep your shades on and remember: the only thing that matters is the mission. And the mission for now is to keep an eye on these companies.

Remember What We Do Here

Remember folks at the end of the day we're just tryin' to keep things runnin' smoothly. One stock at a time like one alien at a time. Now if you'll excuse me I gotta go chase down a guy who swears he saw Elvis. Don't ask.