HAHAHA! Gotham's Broke and Buying Groceries on Credit!

Why So Serious? It's Just Money!

Well well well what have we here? According to some data from Lending Tree (whoever THEY are) you poor saps are using 'buy now pay later' to buy GROCERIES! Groceries! I haven't laughed this hard since I convinced a room full of mobsters to play with gasoline and matches. And what's this? More people are missing payments? HA! You can't even afford your instant ramen? Pathetic! You know it's not about the money... it's about sending a message. And the message is: you're all broke! Gotham is truly descending into chaos one late BNPL payment at a time.

A Quarter of You Clowns?

Apparently a whopping 25% of you lovely people are using these silly little loans to buy food. Up from 14% just a year ago. You see their morals their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you when the chips are down these civilized people... they'll eat each other. See I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.

Late to the Party (and the Payment)

And the best part? Forty one percent of you are late on your payments! It's not about the money; it's about sending a message. That message being you're all a bunch of irresponsible clowns! Lending Tree's Matt Schulz (sounds like a real comedian) says people are struggling. No kidding Sherlock! Tell me something I don't know. Is it really surprising? I love how predictable these stats are.

Extending Budgets...and the Joke

Schulz says people are trying to 'extend their budget.' Oh how precious! You think you can outsmart the system? You can't even afford a loaf of bread! And what do I say to that? Why so serious?! A little chaos is all it takes. And the introduction of a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos.

DoorDash Delivers Debt!

Oh and the punchline? DoorDash now accepts BNPL for food deliveries! You're financing cheeseburgers! You're all so desperate it's beautiful! I mean really this is the kind of dedication to 'living the high life' that gets my face painted white. It's all part of the plan! One tiny pebble starts an avalanche of chaos! So let's introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes... chaos.

Chaos is Coming! (Pass the Popcorn)

Walmart and Delta are already seeing 'cracks in demand.' They're scared. They think they can control the chaos? HA! You can't control me and you certainly can't control the economy. So sit back relax and watch the world burn! It's all part of the game baby! After all madness is like gravity...all it takes is a little push. And I'm just the guy to give it that push! This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them!