Good News Everyone! Wynn Resorts Bails on New York Casino Dreams!

Wynn's White Flag: A Surrender Most Fowl!

Good news everyone! It seems Wynn Resorts in a move that can only be described as 'cowardly' – or perhaps 'prudent,' depending on how much you enjoy throwing money into a black hole – has decided to abandon their quest for a casino license in New York. Yes after teaming up with Related Companies to build a 'fancy' casino in Hudson Yards they've thrown in the towel citing 'years of persistent opposition.' Bah! As if opposition ever stopped me from inventing the Smell O Scope!

Las Vegas Sands Sinks Too? Oh My!

And if that wasn't enough Las Vegas Sands those crapshooters have also bowed out blaming the possibility of iGaming or online gambling horning in on their turf. Imagine gambling...on the internet! What will they think of next? Perhaps self folding laundry? Or a machine that predicts the weather using only the phases of the moon and the entrails of a yak? Wait I think I invented that last one...

The Price is Wrong Bitch!

Apparently according to sources 'in the know,' getting a casino license in New York is less about the quality of your casino proposal and more about navigating a swamp of political shenanigans. It's all very expensive time consuming and dare I say a bit of a 'grind my gears' situation. Reminds me of the time I tried to get a permit to build a doomsday device in my lab. Bureaucracy you fiend!

Frontrunners and Frivolity: The Odds are Never in Your Favor!

Now rumors swirl about MGM Resorts and Resorts World being the frontrunners probably because they already have gambling operations. Apparently existing experience gives them some kind of edge. As if merely having a few slot machines qualifies you to run a full blown casino! I myself once built a time machine out of a toaster but that doesn't make me a qualified chrono mechanic.

Cohen's Casino Capers and Times Square Temptations!

And who could forget Steve Cohen owner of the New York Mets partnering with Hard Rock? And Caesars teaming up with SL Green and Roc Nation for a Times Square casino? Everyone's got their fingers in the gambling pie apparently. Like a delicious apple pie that will bankrupt you and your family if you eat too much of it. I should know I once invented a pie that caused temporary insanity.

Stock Buybacks? To Shreds You Say?

So what's Wynn going to do with all that money they saved? Stock buybacks apparently. Oh dear! Well I suppose it's better than investing in my latest invention: the 'Quantum Entanglement Underpants.' Although come to think of it those might be a bigger gamble than a New York casino...