Trump's Cruciatus Curse on PBS? High School Sports Coverage Faces the Dementors!

Not Another Unexpected Visit From He Who Must Not Be Funded!

Blimey you won't believe the latest news folks! It seems the Muggle world is at it again and this time they're targeting something near and dear to many of us: high school sports on PBS! Apparently these broadcasts have become more popular than a Quaffle at a Quidditch match especially in places where they don't have those... professional sports things. Places like South Dakota Arkansas and Nebraska? Sounds like a job for Neville Longbottom if you ask me. I hear tell they've been beefing up their coverage like Hagrid with a growth charm trying to bring the joy of local sports to the masses. Good on them!

Accio Viewers! Accio Donations!

Word is airing these games has been a bigger boost than a swig of Felix Felicis bringing in viewers and even getting folks to donate more. Live sports at any level seems to be the potion for success in TV land especially when you're cheering on your own team. You can almost hear the roar of the crowd in Hogwarts' Great Hall with every point scored. But here's the rub: all of this might be at risk if the government starts cutting funds to PBS. Can you imagine if they canceled Quidditch due to budget cuts? There would be riots worse than when they canceled Gilderoy Lockhart's book signing. "The Friday night lights phenomenon is real in the South and we have all these viewers that look forward to that like you would an NFL game," said Bert Wesley Huffman president and CEO of Georgia Public Broadcasting.

Voldemort's Budget Cuts: A Dark Cloud Over the Pitch

So here's the skinny: PBS stations get their funding from the state the feds and good old private donors. But old You Know Who (President Trump) well he signed some executive order to cut funding to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) the folks who look after NPR PBS and the lot. Something about "biased and partisan news coverage." As if the Daily Prophet never printed a load of rubbish! They say the White House plans to send some "rescissions" bill to Congress cutting funds to NPR and PBS. NPR is fighting back faster than Hermione with a good cause arguing it violates their First Amendment rights. PBS is mulling over their options too including the magical legal route. I'd suggest a well placed Confundus Charm but alas I'm no longer allowed to use magic on Muggles (something about the Statute of Secrecy). "PBS is considering every option including taking legal action to allow our organization to continue to provide essential programming and services to member stations and all Americans," a PBS spokesperson said.

Beyond Sesame Street: The Unsung Heroes of Local TV

While everyone's worried about losing Sesame Street (and who wouldn't be? Elmo's more popular than I am!) most of PBS's lineup is locally produced. Imagine if Hagrid only cared for Fang and forgot all about Fluffy! "I think the challenge is so much of the debate ends up being around news [programming] which is an important part of what we do but is less than 10% of it," said Paula Kerger PBS CEO and president. "I think most people don't realize all of our stations are locally owned operated and governed. They're run by people who love their communities and understand them really well. They decide everything that's on their air." Apparently there are even Muggle sports stars who got their start on local PBS. The article mentioned one of the first TV profiles of breakout WNBA star Caitlin Clark took place on Iowa's local PBS station back in 2020. Now she's leading the WNBA to record ratings. From zero to hero faster than you can say "Quidditch Through the Ages!"

A Disaster Worse Than a Troll in the Dungeon

Other state PBS execs are as worried as I am when Snape calls on me in Potions class. "It would be a disaster for us; it would be an absolute disaster," said Courtney Pledger the executive director and CEO of Arkansas PBS. If they lose CPB funding sports would probably be gone. Arkansas gets a chunk of its funding from the state which covers salaries and the like but the rest comes from federal subsidies and donations. Nebraska Public Media gets about 16% of its budget from the feds and they're known for their volleyball coverage. Apparently some stations could lose up to 40% of their budget! "I was speaking with someone today who said she has a staff of 18 and if they lose funding they'd have to cut 10 people," Kerger said. It's a budget crisis so grim even Moaning Myrtle would cheer up a little.

Deja Vu All Over Again: Budget Battles the Neverending Story

But hold your Hippogriffs folks! Budget fights are nothing new. "I've been doing this for over 36 years," said Julie Overgaard executive director of South Dakota Public Broadcasting. "I've been through more budget funding fights than I like to admit." She even added that even in a very red state (whatever that means I'm assuming it's not Gryffindor) budget cuts have been unpopular mostly because of the public outcry about sports cuts. Reminds me of the time they tried to ban Firebolts from Quidditch. You think people were upset then... Apparently one Republican state rep in South Dakota vowed to protect SDPB funding because she has "got to watch basketball." Now that's dedication! Overgaard also said that streaming hasn't hurt the networks. In some instances traditional TV broadcasts are the best option for viewers in rural areas that still don't have broadband connections. "I joke that some times of the year public broadcasting is the only thing on in every South Dakota bar," Overgaard said. Bottom line? Losing PBS would be a right mess worse than trying to understand Professor Binns' lectures. So let's hope these Muggles can sort it out before the high school sports fans start wielding their own wands... metaphorically speaking of course.