Farquaad's Worst Nightmare: Musk's Robotaxis Invade Austin! (Get Outta My Swamp... er, City!)

Ogres Don't Need Directions (But Humans Apparently Do)

Well howdy folks! Shrek here reporting live from my uh *ahem* slightly less swampy corner of the world. Word on the street (or should I say the muddy path) is that this fella Elon Musk is launching his fancy pants Robotaxi service in Austin Texas. Tentatively mind you. Seems even robots need a bit of hand holding these days. Personally I think ogres have a better sense of direction. We just follow our noses... usually to the nearest pile of mud.

June 22? That's the Date Donkey Gets His Next Haircut! (Coincidence? I Think Not!)

Musk says he's flyin' in from Los Angeles for the big kickoff on June 22nd. And get this the first driverless ride from the Tesla factory to a customer's house is planned for his birthday June 28th! "We are being super paranoid about safety so the date could shift," says Musk. Super paranoid? Hah! I'm always paranoid... about folks stealin' my swamp. But Donkey keeps tellin' me to chill out and stop building walls around it. Speaking of walls I hear these Robotaxis are painted black with 'Robotaxi' spray painted on 'em. Fancy!

FSD? More Like 'Full of Swamp Gas' Driving!

This whole operation is gonna be using a new "unsupervised" version of this "FSD" thingy which I reckon stands for 'Full of Swamp Gas' Driving. It'll start with a handful of Model Ys – not that futuristic CyberCab thing he's cookin' up. They'll be keepin' these taxis inside a little fenced in area like me tryin' to keep Donkey outta my stew pot. And some fellas will be watchin' the whole shebang remotely. Sounds a bit like babysitting to me! Someone get me a beer.

Musk: Multi Tasking Mogul or Just Plain Confused?

Now this Musk fella he's got his fingers in a whole heap of pies. Runs Tesla SpaceX and even that X thingy (used to be Twitter or somethin'). And he's apparently got more gold than Rumpelstiltskin could shake a contract at! Recently he did a stint runnin' the Department of Government Efficiency makin' all sorts of cuts and whatnot. I bet he tried to cut my swamp's funding. Good thing I didn't let him.

Protestors Ready to 'Do the Roar' Against Robotaxis

But not everyone's thrilled about these robotic taxis. Some folks especially those worried about safety and others who don't agree with Musk's way of doin' things are plannin' a protest. Apparently this "Dawn Project" and some other anti Musk fellas are demonstratin' on June 12th to show off safety issues with Tesla's electric vehicles. I can understand their concerns. I wouldn't want a robot drivin' me to Far Far Away.

Ogres and Robotaxis: We're Both Just Trying to Get Around (and Not Get Squashed)

So there you have it folks. Robotaxis in Austin Texas. Will they be a smooth ride or a bumpy journey through the swamp? Only time will tell. Me? I'll stick to my own two feet (or maybe Donkey's back if I'm feelin' lazy). Just remember whether you're an ogre or a robot safety first! And maybe carry a spare onion... just in case.