China's EV Price War: Is This Just the Appetizer? (Spoiler Alert: Kaboom!)

Neijuan? More Like 'Kneel juan'!

Okay so apparently China's big shots are throwing a hissy fit over something called 'neijuan' – which get this means 'excessive competition.' Like duh! Isn't that the whole point of you know competing? Premier Li Qiang and his pals are all like 'Stop fighting!' But where's the fun in that? It's like telling me not to blow stuff up! Seriously they're holding meetings and summoning EV execs to Beijing for 'self regulation.' Sounds boring right? I'd rather be painting the town with Fishbones!

BYD: The 'Bad Beautiful Dangerous' of EV Price Cuts

So BYD (Build Your Dreams? More like Break Your Bank!) decided to kick things up a notch with some serious price cuts – like over 30% on some models! The China Association of Automobile Manufacturers is all grumpy about it whining about 'disorderly price wars' and 'vicious competition.' Boo hoo! They're saying it's bad for profit margins and consumer safety. As if anyone cares about safety when they can get a sweet ride for cheap! 'Price wars have no winners,' they cry. Well I say the people buying the cars are winning! Losers! It's chaos and I LOVE IT!

Ministry of Mayhem: Regulation Incoming!

The Ministry of Industry and Information Technology (try saying that five times fast!) is apparently gonna step in and 'increase regulation.' Translation: they're gonna try to stop the fun. Good luck with that! They're talking about enforcing laws and promoting 'fair competition.' Fair? Where's the fun in fair? I prefer a little mayhem thank you very much! BYD of course is playing nice saying they support fair competition. Yeah right. I bet they're secretly plotting even bigger price cuts!

Involution or Evolution? More Like REVOLUTION!

Some fancy pants analysts are saying BYD's price cuts are just formalizing discounts that people were already getting. Whatever! They're also pointing out that BYD is facing competitive pressure. Even the big guys have to watch their backs! And guess what? The average price of Chinese cars being exported is going DOWN! Germany's getting them for $21,000 now instead of $30,000. Score! Except for Mexico where they're going up a little. What gives Mexico? You're ruining the fun!

Secondhand Shenanigans and Overtaking the Oversupply

Get this: there's a 'strange phenomenon' of secondhand cars being sold with ZERO mileage! Apparently they're registering them as sales and then flipping them immediately. Talk about a quick buck! Some Great Wall Motor dude is complaining about 'too much chaos' and wants better regulation. Honestly sounds like a party to me! Maybe I should get into the used car business...

The 'Appetizer' is Served: More Boom to Come!

Xpeng's CEO says this price war is just the 'appetizer.' The REAL competition is coming in the next five years! He claims they're going to compete on technology not price. Lame! He wants to expand beyond China. Snooze! Xpeng just released a cheaper version of its Mona 03 so even they are joining the fun. Meanwhile Nio is losing a ton of cash and Xiaomi thinks its EV business will be profitable soon. Who knows what will happen? All I know is it's gonna be a blast to watch it all go KABOOM! I am ready for MORE. More more MORE!