Europe's Auto Giants In SHOCK! Trump's Tariffs Will Leave You Speechless!

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. And Tariffs!

Good morning fellow citizens. Dwight K. Schrute here Assistant Regional Manager (and volunteer Sheriff's Deputy) at Dunder Mifflin bringing you the hard hitting truth about these so called 'auto tariffs.' You see President Trump a man who clearly understands the delicate balance of power like a beet farmer understands the soil has enacted these… 'tariffs.' Now I know what you're thinking: 'Dwight what does this have to do with paper?' Everything Michael! EVERYTHING! A strong economy means businesses need more paper. And these tariffs… they are a threat to the economy! It's like bears attacking our beets! We must defend our harvest! I will be ready.

Europe's Pain Schrute's Gain?

These European auto giants like Volkswagen Mercedes and BMW are 'slipping,' as the so called 'experts' say. Slipping! As if they haven't invested in the proper treads for their tires! They're whining about a 20% tariff! Twenty percent! I face a 100% tariff on my beet sales every time Mose accidentally scares away a potential customer with his… unique… farming techniques. These companies need to learn some self reliance. Perhaps they should consider investing in a quality scarecrow. Or you know just ask Mose. He's very scary.

Asian Automakers Feeling the Heat? Like a Chili Cook Off?

Not just Europe! Japan's Nissan and Toyota are also feeling the burn. Down 7% and 2.6% respectively. Sounds like someone underestimated the heat level at a chili cook off! Michael would know all about that. Honestly it's all about resilience. As Sun Tzu said 'The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.' Or in this case to outmaneuver the tariffs with superior efficiency and… beets! Yes beet fueled cars. I'm working on it.

German Engineering vs. American Ingenuity! A Schrute Farms Showdown!

Analysts are saying that German car manufacturers are the most exposed. Exposed! Like a beet left out in the sun! Rico Luman from ING (a bank not a paper company sadly) says they need to reconsider their product offerings pricing and manufacturing footprints. Well duh! It's basic business! Schrute Farms has adapted to countless challenges from rogue bears to the occasional out of control hay bale. These Germans need to think outside the lederhosen!

China's Response: Resolute and Forceful! Like a Beet Farmer Defending His Crop!

China's foreign ministry is promising 'resolute and forceful' measures! Sounds familiar! That's what I say when someone tries to steal my parking spot. Or question my authority. Or breathe. But seriously an escalating trade war is bad news for everyone. It's like… a beet famine! We need to find a way to cooperate and find sustainable and more innovative solutions. Like maybe start importing paper from Dunder Mifflin.

The Future is Uncertain But Schrute Farms Will Prevail! Like Always!

Car companies are already raising prices pausing shipments and even laying off staff! Layoffs! That's never a good sign. Except maybe for me if I were trying to consolidate power at Dunder Mifflin. But I'm not. (Okay maybe a little.) ING's Luman says it 'doesn't look dramatic' yet. Yet! That's the key word. We need to prepare for the worst. Stockpile beets sharpen our pencils and remember: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. It's all connected!