Elon's Got a Brand New Vice President…of *Being* Fired! Tesla Exec Gets the Boot!

SomeBODY Once Told Me...

Alright alright alright! Donkey here reporting LIVE from…well not Tesla. They didn't invite *me* to their parties. Apparently Elon Musk that dude who's always got his head in the stars (or maybe just Mars?) gave his VP of Manufacturing and Operations Omead Afshar the pink slip! Seems like car sales ain't exactly roaring like my love for waffles in the morning. And I know a thing or two about things going in the wrong direction – like that time I tried to fly!

He Was Number One! (…Until He Wasn't)

Word on the street (or you know CNBC) is this Afshar fella was in charge of a whole bunch of important people. Like half a dozen! That's almost as many kids as Dragon and I have! But even fancy titles couldn't save him from the Musk et. Apparently Forbes and Bloomberg were all over this story like Shrek on his swamp. This just proves doesn't matter how high you climb you can still fall harder than Humpty Dumpty!

Secret Projects and Special Glass? Sounds Shady!

Now here's where it gets interesting. Turns out this Afshar dude was being looked at back in 2022 'cause he was ordering all sorts of fancy construction materials including some super secret glass for a top secret Musk project! Sounds like somethin' Dr. Evil would cook up. Maybe he was building a giant laser to hold the moon hostage. Who knows? After that he even bounced over to SpaceX for a bit but came back to Tesla. Like a boomerang only less fun.

X Marks the Spot…for Unemployment!

Even funnier his X (formerly known as Twitter) profile *still* says he works at Tesla! And he was all buddy buddy with Elon just this week praising the Robotaxi launch. Talk about awkward! It's like being invited to a party and then finding out you're the piñata. But don't fret too much maybe he'll get a job riding shotgun in those Robotaxis. Now *that's* irony!

Robots Leaving Stocks Dropping…Is Tesla a Lemon?

And it ain't just Afshar headin' for the hills. Milan Kovac the head honcho of the Optimus robot program also bounced! Said he needed more time with his family. Sure that's what they all say! Meanwhile Tesla stock is down faster than my patience when Shrek starts grumbling. And car sales in Europe are tanking 'cause folks are diggin' cheaper Chinese electric cars. Ouch! Looks like Tesla needs a fairy godmother and quick!

Elon's Been a Bad Boy!

Word on the street is that Elon himself is partly to blame. Apparently his fiery words and political antics have been causing some brand damage. He even spent a small fortune trying to get Donald Trump elected and supported some far right party in Germany. Now I'm just a donkey but even *I* know you gotta be careful what you say! Remember what I told Dragon? 'Sometimes things are better left unsaid.' Lesson learned (hopefully)!