Trump's Tesla Troubles: Is He About to Neuralyze His Ride?

Red Light Green Light Drama!

Alright people Agent J here. You know the guy who keeps this planet safe from the weirdness you can't even imagine. But sometimes the weirdness is right here on Earth like this whole Trump Musk situation. Apparently the ex President's thinking of ditching his red Tesla. Red! You know what else is red? The 'check engine' light on crazy.

From Supporter to 'Crazy' Talk

So here's the deal. Trump bought the Tesla back in March to show support for Musk. Seemed like they were thicker than thieves or at least thicker than a couple of guys arguing about government spending. But then BAM! Musk starts criticizing Trump's tax bill. Next thing you know Trump's calling him 'crazy' and threatening to pull government contracts. I swear it's like watching two Orions argue over a marble...a really expensive technologically advanced marble.

Tesla Under Siege!

Remember when Tesla was getting attacked? That’s why Trump jumped on the bandwagon in the first place! It was like that time when all those aliens were after the Arquillian Galaxy! I mean you try dealing with that without backup. Good luck.

Is It Going Going Gone?

Now the Tesla's just sitting outside the White House probably feeling like that pug in the MiB headquarters after it saw the truth. A photo op with Margo Martin and Karoline Leavitt happened last week but that’s like putting lipstick on a…well a Tesla about to be sold or given away. This car is headed straight for the Neuralyzer...metaphorically speaking!

SpaceX: Don't Mess With the Rockets!

And those government contracts he's threatening to pull? That includes SpaceX. I mean come on even *I* know you don't mess with the rockets! Where else are we gonna send the really nasty aliens we pick up? Back to wherever they came from that's where!

The Verdict: Keep Your Eyes Peeled

So keep your eyes peeled people. We'll see if Trump ends up giving the Tesla away selling it or just keeps it parked as a monument to a friendship gone sour. Either way I’m sure we’ll hear about it and I’ll be here to translate all the weirdness for you. Remember there's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser or a disruptor beam or an intergalactic plague that could really make your day miserable. Heh heh!