Tesla's Robotaxi Rumble: Protests Erupt in Austin Over Musk's Driverless Dreams

Musk's Martian Taxi Service?

Alright people Agent J here reporting live from planet Earth – specifically Austin Texas. Word on the street (and by street I mean Elon Musk's Twitter feed or X whatever he's calling it now) is that Tesla's launching a robotaxi service. Tentatively scheduled for June 22nd. Sounds like a scene straight out of 'The Fifth Element,' right? Except instead of Bruce Willis we got software…and apparently a whole lotta protesters.

Dawn of the Dissenters

Now these aren't your run of the mill alien conspiracy theorists. These are folks from groups like The Dawn Project Tesla Takedown and Resist Austin. Seems like they're not too thrilled about Musk's cozy relationship with certain political figures. But the real issue? Safety. They're waving red flags about Tesla's Autopilot and Full Self Driving (FSD) systems. I'm talking 'crashed into a school bus' levels of concern. Remember that time Zed told me 'A person is smart. People are dumb panicky dangerous animals'? Yeah kinda feels relevant here.

Mannequin Mayhem!

These Dawn Project guys they got creative. They brought their own Model Y loaded with FSD software (version 2025.14.9 for you tech nerds). Then in broad daylight they showed how it blows right past a school bus stop sign and plows over a child sized mannequin. I swear it looked like those training simulations we use at MIB only less…alien. Makes you wonder if these cars can even handle a chihuahua crossing the road let alone a full blown extraterrestrial invasion.

Green Hills and Grudges

Turns out the CEO of The Dawn Project Dan O'Dowd is also running Green Hills Software which sells technology to Tesla competitors including Ford and Toyota. I smell a conspiracy! Just kidding... Maybe. It's always something isn't it? One minute you're zapping aliens with a neuralyzer the next you're sorting out corporate espionage in the driverless car industry. My day job folks.

Lack of Transparency is not the way

Stephanie Gomez (a local) and Silvia Revelis (another local) both said they didn't like the role Musk had been playing in the government and have no confidence in Tesla's safety standards. Revelis mentioned that citizens have not been able to get safety testing results and that Musk believes he's above the law. I'm starting to think that it is getting too hot for Musk in the kitchen!

Tesla Silent. For Now.

So there you have it. Robotaxis versus real world worries. As of now Tesla's playing it cool not responding to requests for comment. But you know what they say: 'There's always an Arquillian battle cruiser or a disruptor ray or a thing that threatens to destroy all life on Earth.' And sometimes it comes in the form of a driverless car with a mind of its own. Back to you Zed. I need a neuralyzer…and maybe a new partner who doesn't cause quite so much intergalactic drama.