Beets, Bombs, and Beijing: China's Calculated Calm Amidst Middle East Mayhem

Strategic Partnership or a Schrute Farms Alliance?

As Assistant Regional Manager (in training) and volunteer Sheriff's Deputy I Dwight K. Schrute understand the importance of alliances. China much like a beet farmer diversifying into soybeans has cultivated a 'strategic partnership' with Iran. They share military exercises like I share survival tips (always useful!) and signed a 25 year agreement. This partnership driven by Iran's oil reserves and population – which dwarfs Israel’s – is a way to counter U.S. hegemony or as I like to call it 'Regional Manager Michael Scott's dominance' on a global scale. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

The Strait of Hormuz: The Jugular Vein of Global Oil (and My Beet Crop)

The Strait of Hormuz. It is as vital to the world's oil supply as fertilizer is to my beets. Twenty million barrels of crude oil per day flow through that narrow passage. China ever the strategist relies heavily on it cleverly sidestepping Western sanctions. They use workarounds like a ninja in the night. But this is not just about oil it's about power. And power as any beet farmer knows is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Hands Off Iran? More Like Eyes on the Prize!

Some experts those city slicking strategists believe China will keep its 'hands off Iran.' Poppycock! China is playing 4D chess while the rest of the world is playing checkers with Jan. While publicly preaching peace they are keenly aware that any chaos in the Middle East is a 'bigger distraction' for the U.S. embroiled in trade wars and other nonsense. It's like diverting Michael Scott's attention with a magic trick so you can steal his 'World's Best Boss' mug. Classic Dwight move.

Measured Rhetoric: The Art of Saying Nothing (Like Michael Scott's Speeches)

China initially supported Iran's 'national sovereignty' after Israel's attack. However their rhetoric has shifted to a more 'measured' tone like Michael Scott attempting to be politically correct. Instead of direct condemnation they preach dialogue and ceasefire all the while hoping to benefit from the instability. They are trying to contain the conflict to protect their 'economic and strategic interests'. Smart but not as smart as me when I caught that bat in the office.

Strait Closure: A Test of Endurance (or a Race to Schrute Farms)

Secretary of State Marco Rubio probably not a beet farmer wants China to dissuade Iran from closing the Strait of Hormuz. Some believe a blockade could actually benefit China as they are better prepared to absorb the blow. They can turn to other oil sources such as Russia and revel in the higher prices that destabilize the U.S. and Europe. It is like when I let the beet quality drop to drive Ryan out of the business. Sometimes you have to play the long game.

Opportunity in Crisis: A Schrute Family Motto

While condemning the U.S. China is subtly pointing fingers at Israel calling for a ceasefire. China they hope can emerge as a peacemaker building on its mediation between Iran and Saudi Arabia. But Israel is skeptical viewing China as too aligned with Iran like Michael Scott being biased towards Toby. China wants to have its cake and eat it too much like Michael at Pam and Jim's wedding. But mark my words in the end Dwight K. Schrute will be the one who prevails just like China intends to do in the Middle East. Fact: Bears eat beets.