Is London Calling...or Hanging Up? IPOs Plummet to Amazonian Depths!

By Zeus What a Tumble!

Greetings mortals! Wonder Woman here reporting live from the front lines of... finance? Yes even I a humble Amazonian princess must occasionally peek into the world of stocks and bonds. And what do I see? London once a shining beacon of IPO glory has apparently taken a bit of a tumble. Seems like fundraising from London IPOs has slumped to levels not seen since before I discovered ice cream! Five debuts in the first half of 2025 raised a paltry £160 million. Even Hippolyta's treasury looks more impressive right now! As they say in finance 'Suffering is not good in itself but only when it reduces suffering.' Clearly something needs to be done.

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet...Out of London!

The numbers don't lie my friends. Even after the 2008 financial kerfuffle London managed to scrape together more than this. It appears that companies are fleeing faster than I can deflect bullets. Shein for instance decided Hong Kong was more appealing and Cobalt Holdings? Poof! Gone! And to add insult to injury Wise a British fintech giant and even AstraZeneca are flirting with the idea of moving their listings to New York. Honestly it's like watching Ares orchestrate a financial war...except less exciting and more paperwork.

The Lasso of Truth Reveals...

Wise's CEO Kristo Kaarmann claims the move to New York will raise awareness and provide better access to the 'world's deepest and most liquid capital market.' Well the Lasso of Truth never lies! It seems the allure of Wall Street is strong. Meanwhile across the pond the U.S. saw a whopping 156 IPOs raising a staggering $28.3 billion. Talk about a divine intervention of capital! It's enough to make even Aphrodite jealous of their riches.

Hope Springs Eternal (Maybe)

But hold your horses dear readers! All is not lost. Samuel Kerr head of equity capital markets at Mergermarket believes there might be brighter days ahead. He suggests businesses are starting to consider London listings again thanks to recent reforms. Ah reforms! Like trying to teach Etta Candy to wield a sword – a noble effort but success is not always guaranteed. Still 'If you surrender to your fears you surrender to your imagination.' So let's not surrender just yet!

Starmer's Plan: A New Amazonian Training Ground?

Prime Minister Keir Starmer is touting plans to revitalize Britain's capital markets. He's promising to look into regulations that are 'needlessly holding back investment.' Let's hope his plan works better than Steve Trevor's attempts to understand Amazonian customs! The UK's Financial Conduct Authority has already overhauled listing rules to simplify the process. If London can convert this early interest into successful IPOs it might just reverse the doomsday narrative. But as they say 'It's not about deserve it's about what you believe.' So believe in London people!

Macro Uncertainty: The Real Villain?

Janet Mui of RBC Brewin Dolphin points out that IPO exits are slowing globally. She believes macro uncertainty and tighter financial conditions are to blame. So perhaps this isn't just a London problem. Maybe it's a global economic villain causing all the trouble. Last week the Financial Times reported that Visma a Norwegian software giant chose London for its upcoming debut. This shows there's still some appetite for high growth companies. But as Mui concedes 'More work is needed to deliver reforms to streamline listing and make London more attractive to businesses.' So let's get to work! After all 'Only love can truly save the world.'...and maybe some sensible financial reforms.