By Hera! Nvidia's Jensen Huang Finally Gets a Raise Fit for a God!

A Decade in the Trenches: Even Gods Need a Payday

Greetings mortals! Wonder Woman here reporting live from the ever bewildering world of finance. It seems even demigods among men—like Nvidia's Jensen Huang—aren't immune to the earthly need for a decent paycheck. After a whole decade a literal AGE in tech years our friend Jensen has finally seen his base salary increase. Now I've battled Ares himself for less than a 49% raise! It appears even in the land of silicon and circuits patience truly is a virtue... or maybe they were just waiting for the Lasso of Truth to be invented for salary negotiations.

From Zero to Hero…to Higher Salary!

Let's talk numbers shall we? Huang's base salary leaped to a whopping $1.5 million. That's more golden drachmas than I can carry! His variable cash also jumped and his stock awards skyrocketed to $38.8 million. All told he's pulling in nearly $50 million. The compensation committee bless their bureaucratic hearts deemed this 'appropriate.' I can only imagine the boardroom discussions: 'But he's practically inventing the future! Give the man a raise for Zeus's sake!' It is like Hippolyta always said “You are stronger than you believe. You have greater powers than you know.”

Nvidia's Reign: Powered by GPUs and a Dash of Amazonian Magic

Now why all this sudden generosity? Well Nvidia is currently riding a wave of success bigger than my invisible jet. Their graphics processing units (GPUs) are the engines driving the artificial intelligence revolution. Revenue is up 114% to $130.5 billion. Talk about a glow up worthy of Aphrodite herself! And let's not forget the stock price which has increased ninefold since 2022. It makes you wonder if they've been sprinkling a little Amazonian magic in their algorithms.

Billion Dollar Baby: A Stake Worth Fighting For

Huang's personal stake in Nvidia? A cool $94 billion. That's enough to buy a small country or at least a lifetime supply of churros. It does seem fair he can afford some extra security and consultation fees I mean who wouldn't want to protect that hoard with the best security available? After all with great power (and great wealth) comes great responsibility... and a hefty security bill apparently.

Security Fit for a Superhero (or a CEO)

Speaking of security Nvidia is footing the bill for $3.5 million in residential security and consultation fees plus driver services for Huang. That’s a jump from last year! Apparently running a world changing tech company comes with a higher threat level than battling Cheetah on a Tuesday. Even Google is shelling out millions for Sundar Pichai's protection. It seems these titans of tech are living the superhero life minus the capes (mostly).

A Fair Reward? The Gods Weigh In

So is Huang's raise deserved? As Wonder Woman I believe in fairness and justice. If Nvidia is thriving thanks to his leadership then a little extra golden ambrosia is certainly in order. Just remember even as you reach for the stars keep your feet planted firmly on the ground... and maybe invest in a really good security system. After all 'fighting for what is right doesn't mean knowing what's right is.' Now if you'll excuse me I have a date with a certain ice cream company that's naming a new flavor after me.