Ai Caramba! Will NATO Cough Up Gold Doubloons for Defense?

A Meeting of Mighty... Perhaps

Hola mis amigos! It is I Puss in Boots chronicler of daring deeds and connoisseur of the finest leche. Today I bring you a tale of alliances ambitions and… *gasp*… money! NATO that band of brave (or at least well equipped) nations is facing a moment of truth sharper than my own rapier. They're talking about hiking their defense spending to a whopping 5% of GDP by 2035. Madre de Dios! That's a lot of gold doubloons!

Trump's Purr plexing Pronouncements

Ah but here's where the story gets spicier than a jalapeño! The shadow of the American Presidente Señor Trump looms large. He with the hair that defies gravity and pronouncements that defy understanding has long lamented that some nations aren't pulling their weight. He even dared to question the sacred Article 5! 'There's numerous definitions of Article 5,' he declared. Ay caramba! Is nothing sacred anymore? He might as well be questioning the magic beans or the existence of El Dorado!

Rutte's Rescue Mission

But fear not amigos! The noble Secretario General Rutte a clever strategist if I ever saw one is working overtime to reassure everyone that the US isn't abandoning ship. He claims the U.S. is 'totally committed' but expects everyone else to ante up. It’s like trying to convince Donkey that waffles are as good as parfaits – a Herculean task indeed! "However it comes with an expectation. And the expectation is that we will finally deal with this huge irritant which is that we are not spending enough as Europeans and Canadians," Rutte said Tuesday.

The 2% Tango: A Step Too Slow?

Remember that 2% pledge from 2014? Some nations like España and Canada are still struggling to keep up. Meanwhile the eastern Europeans are practically swimming in weapons. Spain bless their sun drenched souls called the 5% target 'unreasonable.' Olé! Someone's got some fire in their belly! Seems some are more interested in siestas than spending.

Compromise or Cat astrophe?

The air is thick with uncertainty. Will they reach a consensus or will this summit end in a fur flying fracas? The Estonian defense minister suggests they will reach 5% by 2035. And what of Orban that cunning Hungarian who says the EU rules need to be changed? He calls Trump a 'man of common sense' a notion as rare as a polite dragon. Madre de Dios!

Trump's Triumph? Perhaps

In the end Trump declared "I've been telling them for years to get up to 5% and they're going up to 5% ... I think that's going to be very big news and NATO is going to be very strong with us." Rutte even admitted that 'without President Trump this would not have happened.' So perhaps Señor Trump will take the credit. But will the money appear like magic beans or will there be trouble down the road? Only time and perhaps a well placed swashbuckle will tell.