It's-a Me, Mario! Reporting Live From... Iran?! Nuclear Ambitions Go BOOM!

Mamma Mia! What's a Cookin' in Iran?

It's a me Mario and I'm a reporting live from… well not exactly Iran but I've got my sources! Apparently Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth is saying that Iran's nuclear ambitions are and I quote 'obliterated!' Sounds serious eh? Like when Bowser finally gets a hold of the Super Star! But instead of a star it's like uranium or something. Yikes!

Trump Says 'So Long a Iran's Nuclear Program!'

President Trump is a taking credit saying he ordered the destruction of Iran's nuclear enrichment capacity! It was a 'precision operation' he says. Precision huh? Sounds like how I time my jumps to grab those hard to reach coins! He says it's to protect the national interest and allies. You know like how I protect Princess Peach from Bowser. Always gotta save the Princess you know?

Not So Fast! Damage Control or Damage Assessment?

But hold on to your hats folks! General Dan Caine chairman of the Joint Chiefs isn't going as far as saying everything's 'obliterated.' He's talking about 'severe damage and destruction' to facilities. It's like when I think I've finally defeated Bowser but then he just gets bigger and meaner! Final assessments are still coming in... could be more to this than meets the eye eh?

Iran's Not a Happy Capiche?!

And guess what? Iran's Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi is not singing 'It's a Me Mario!' He's saying they have all options to defend themselves after these 'outrageous' attacks. Uh oh! Sounds like someone's about to throw a tantrum like Bowser when I steal his cake! We gotta watch out for those fireballs!

'Operation Midnight Hammer?' More Like 'Operation Mario's Late Night Snack!'

Apparently this whole thing was called 'Operation Midnight Hammer.' Sounds kinda cool right? Like a secret level in the Mushroom Kingdom! Gen. Caine says they used some decoy B 2 bombers. Decoys? Just like when I use a Green Shell to trick my opponents in Mario Kart! Sneaky sneaky! More than 125 planes involved... that's a lot of Koopa Troopas!

To Be Continued...Wahoo!

Well folks that's all the news I've got for now. This is still breaking news so stay tuned! Who knows what will happen next? Maybe Bowser will show up with his own nuclear program! Gotta be ready to jump stomp and save the day! It's a me Mario signing off! Wahoo!