Yo, Harvard's In Hot Water! Trump Admin Says 'Talk to the Hand!' to Int'l Students

Banks Family Values vs. Trump's 'Fresh' Approach

Aight listen up y'all! Will Smith here straight from Bel Air and lemme tell you this news about Harvard is wilder than a Jazz concert gone wrong! Apparently the Trump administration is straight up blocking Harvard from enrolling future international students. And they're telling the ones already there to pack their bags! Word is DHS (that's the Department of Homeland Security for those playing at home) says Harvard's campus is like a breeding ground for 'anti American pro terrorist agitators.' Seriously? Sounds like a bad episode of 'Saved by the Bell' meets 'Homeland'!

Kristi Noem Throws Down the Gauntlet

Now DHS Secretary Kristi Noem (sounds like a character Aunt Viv would argue with at the country club) is saying this is a warning shot to all universities. 'Shape up or ship out!' she basically screams. Harvard naturally is throwing shade right back calling the whole thing 'unlawful.' They're saying they're gonna fight to keep their international students who according to them make Harvard – and America – way more interesting. You know like when I brought my Philly flavor to Bel Air.

27 Percent?! That's More Than Carlton's Dance Moves!

The craziest part? International students make up like over 27% of Harvard's student body! That's a whole lotta brainpower and cultural exchange about to get the boot. Imagine telling Hilary she can't shop at Rodeo Drive anymore! Utter chaos I tell ya!

Judge to the Rescue? Hold Up...

But hold up! Just when things were looking bleaker than Carlton trying to rap a federal judge in California stepped in and issued an injunction. An injunction y'all! That's like Geoffrey suddenly deciding to become a stand up comedian. Unexpected but potentially hilarious! This judge is basically saying 'Hold your horses Trump Noem! You can't just kick these students out without a fight!'

Money Power and Diversity: The Real Battle?

Noem's not backing down though. She's accusing Harvard of 'fostering violence antisemitism and coordinating with the Chinese Communist Party.' Yikes! Sounds like someone's been watching too much cable news. She's also saying Harvard's just in it for the money using those high international tuition fees to 'pad their multibillion dollar endowments.' Ouch! Shots fired! (But not the kind that should be happening on campus ya heard?)

From Philly to Harvard: What Would Will Do?

And get this: the Trump administration already froze $2.2 BILLION in federal grants to Harvard because they wouldn't ditch their diversity programs. Two point two BILLION! That's enough to buy like a million pairs of Air Jordans! Look I may be a goofball from West Philly but even I know that shutting down diversity and kicking out students based on where they're from ain't the American way. This whole situation is messier than a plate of Aunt Viv's ribs after a Lakers game! Stay tuned folks 'cause this ain't over till the Banks family sings!