Fire and Blood...and Nintendo! Switch 2 Burns Up Sales Charts!

A Console Fit for a Queen?

My loyal subjects Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen First of Her Name Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons brings you news from a realm far far away – the land of Nintendo! It seems this 'Switch 2' is causing quite the stir. They say I broke the wheel but Nintendo seems to be reinventing it... with joysticks!

Millions Served (Not on a Silver Platter)

Word has reached even my ears across the Narrow Sea that Nintendo has sold over 3.5 million of these 'Switch 2' devices in just four days! Four days! I once conquered Meereen in less time but I digress. Apparently these things are flying off the shelves faster than a dragon fleeing a rogue scorpion bolt. Online stores are declaring themselves 'out of stock,' a phrase as unwelcome as a Lannister at a Targaryen family reunion. They aim to sell 15 million by the end of their fiscal year. Ambitious but I've set my sights higher...like say ruling Westeros.

Prophecies and Predictions (Mostly Accurate)

Analysts those soothsayers of the modern age believe Nintendo's expectations are 'modest.' Serkan Toto a name that sounds like a Dothraki warrior predicts over 20 million units sold in the first year. I've heard more accurate prophecies from Quaithe in Qarth but still... impressive! David Gibson (not to be confused with Varys) another analyst echoes this sentiment. It seems the realm is eager for this new distraction.

Line Up Little Dragons!

The 'Switch 2' was unleashed on June 5th and the masses are behaving like they haven't seen a new toy since...well since the original 'Switch'! They're lining up for hours like peasants begging for scraps after a dragon's feast. Doug Bowser (yes Bowser!) President of Nintendo of America seems quite pleased. As he should be! Although I'd prefer my underlings showed such enthusiasm when I commanded them to break chains.

A Lannister Always Pays His Debts...But What About Tariffs?

Ah but trouble brews! Like whispers of White Walkers beyond the Wall Donald Trump's 'reciprocal tariffs' threaten to darken Nintendo's doorstep. They've delayed preorders and prices may rise! The Switch 2 already costs $449! It is Nintendo's priciest console to date. Even I with all my dragons would hesitate before spending that much on a game... unless it involved burning King's Landing to the ground. Ahem. Bowser says they're 'monitoring' the situation. I suggest he unleashes a few fire breathing Koopa Troopas on those tariffs!

New Features and Future Battles

This 'Switch 2' boasts a bigger screen improved performance and a 'GameChat2' feature. Fancy! It seems the battles for Westeros may soon be fought online with players strategizing over voice chat instead of ravens. Perhaps I should invest in one... for research purposes of course. After all a Queen must stay abreast of the latest technologies. And who knows maybe I'll find a dragon egg hidden in the game!