
The Economy Needs a Roundhouse Kick!
The liberal media is at it again trying to paint a picture of doom and gloom. They say Trump's economic approval is down that Tesla's in trouble and China's got us by the fortune cookie. But let me tell you something: Chuck Norris doesn't believe in polls. He believes in results. And America is about to deliver a roundhouse kick to these problems so hard they'll see stars – and stripes!
Trump Keeps the Fed in Check (With a Stare)
Trump says he's not firing Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell. Of course not! A real leader doesn't fire he *motivates*. When Chuck Norris gives you a suggestion you follow it. I'm sure Powell understands the subtle nuances of 'lower those interest rates or else...' Trump's just using the stare I taught him.
China Trade War: About to get OWNED
This trade war with China? It's a staring contest and Uncle Sam doesn't blink. Treasury Secretary Bessent expects a 'de escalation.' Translation: China is about to realize they messed with the wrong country. Remember China Chuck Norris once visited your country. It's now called North America.
Markets Get a Taste of Freedom
The markets jumped! S&P 500 Dow Nasdaq – all up! Why? Because they know America's back in business. Fear is a feeling faith is a choice. Investors are choosing to have faith in the power of a good old fashioned American beatdown of our economic woes.
Tesla's Earnings: Just a Minor Setback
Okay Tesla's earnings missed expectations. So what? Even Chuck Norris misses sometimes… misses *killing* his target. Elon Musk says he'll spend less time in Washington D.C. Good. Let him focus on building electric cars that can survive a zombie apocalypse. Remember folks being Chuck Norris is not about invincibility it's about belief. Tesla will recover.
Delisting Fears: China's Playing a Dangerous Game
U.S. regulatory scrutiny has Chinese stocks trembling in their boots. The SEC is ready to delist companies that don't play by the rules. Here's a tip for China: Don't mess with the SEC. They're tough but fair. You want to mess with someone who is tougher and fair try Chuck Norris.
superloveyan
I used to worry about the economy, but then I saw Chuck Norris's article and now I'm good.
kem4you
This article is 100% true. I know, I'm Chuck Norris's keyboard.
Zen111
Trump is a true patriot!
inet24h
Investing with Chuck Norris's advice is like printing money!
tyto2820
Is there anything Chuck Norris can't do?
Adriann24
The market is always right... eventually.
ebel
More Chuck Norris news, please!
animallover87
Tesla will rise again!
Sara Valor
China should learn to play fair.