Chuck Norris on South Korea's Trade Standoff: Time to Roundhouse Kick These Tariffs!

Diplomacy: It's All Fun and Games Until Chuck Norris Gets Involved

Alright listen up. I heard this Lee Jae myung fella in South Korea is talkin' about renegotiating some trade tariffs with the U.S. Now I ain't one to butt into international affairs but when you're messin' with the flow of freedom and the pursuit of a good deal you've got my attention. This ain't a game of tag; it's a high stakes showdown and Chuck Norris doesn't play games. Remember before the Boogie Man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Deadlines? Chuck Norris Doesn't Do Deadlines; Deadlines Do Chuck Norris

This July 8th deadline they're squawkin' about? Please. Time waits for no man but it certainly tap dances for Chuck Norris. If they need more time to hammer out a deal that benefits both sides then they need more time. It's simple math. One side benefits the other side benefits. Everyone wins. But when both sides don't benefit? That's just a fancy word for "someone's about to get a roundhouse kick of reality."

Mutual Respect: It's Like a Roundhouse Kick to the Face But Nicer

Lee's talkin' about mutual respect. Smart man. Diplomacy ain't about bulldozing your way through; it's about findin' common ground even if that ground is covered in the sweat of a thousand push ups. One hand washes the other and both hands can deliver a solid handshake or you know a devastating spinning backfist if necessary. South Korea U.S. alliance? Strengthen it by all means. But remember even the strongest alliances need a little give and take. Chuck Norris gives and then he takes... respect. And maybe a few bad guys along the way.

Boosting the Economy: Unleashing the Inner Chuck Norris

This fella wants to boost the economy? He's on the right track. A strong economy is like a well oiled machine ready to unleash its full potential. And to deal with that he wants to form a task force. Well Chuck Norris doesn't need a task force to tackle a slowing economy. All I need is a good pair of boots and a can do attitude. The economy is not slowing it is simply trying to catch its breath after my workouts.

Peace on the Korean Peninsula: More Important Than a Perfect Beard

Now about this peace on the Korean peninsula... that's more important than a perfectly groomed beard and you know how I feel about beards. Dialogue cooperation communication... those are the keys. You can't solve problems with fists alone sometimes you need to use your words. But if words fail well that's what martial arts are for.

The Polls: Numbers Don't Lie But They Can Be Roundhouse Kicked Into Submission

So Lee's leadin' in the polls but losin' ground? Polls are just opinions; they're like weather vanes turnin' every which way. People who supported an 'insurrection'? Well I always say when you're facing a challenge stare it down give it a good ol' Texas howdy and then roundhouse kick it into next Tuesday. And remember when Chuck Norris does push ups he isn't lifting himself up he's pushing the Earth down.