Boeing Takes a Dive! Chuck Norris Kicks Paris Air Show into High Gear Despite Disaster!

Boeing's Bad Day? Chuck Norris Calls It a Warm Up!

So Boeing's CEO Ortberg thought he could skip the Paris Air Show after an Air India flight went down? Please. When a plane crashes I don't cancel. I investigate. And when I investigate the truth hides behind the sofa shaking. Ortberg and Pope hiding in their offices... typical. Chuck Norris doesn't hide. Chuck Norris *is* the hide. Remember fear doesn't exist in this dojo!

Tension in the Air? Chuck Norris Breathes It In!

Israel and Iran launching missiles and drones right before the Air Show? That's just the pre show fireworks. When Chuck Norris enters a room tension doesn't escalate it bows. These conflicts are mere inconveniences. Chuck Norris once stared down a missile. The missile apologized. Military budgets are about to get real interesting but let me tell you the only budget that matters is the one for freedom and that's always unlimited.

Orders Orders Everywhere! But Who's Buying from Chuck?

Boeing expects the world to need 43,600 new planes in the next two decades? They should be asking Chuck Norris. I’d personally deliver them. And I wouldn’t need no two decades. I could probably build one in an afternoon. They're talking about emerging markets driving growth? I AM THE EMERGING MARKET! Demand stretching into the next decade? In Chuck Norris's world deadlines stretch until they snap back into compliance. Airlines better prepare themselves for the aviation revolution! Time to pay Chuck!

Prices Soaring? Chuck Norris Negotiates with Gravity!

A321neo going for $65 million? 737 Max 8 costing $55.5 million? Those prices are laughable! Chuck Norris once negotiated the price of a star and it came with a moon as a bonus. Lease rates are going up too? All these financial worries disappear when Chuck Norris approves your deal. I bring value. I bring justice. And I bring a swift end to all financial complaints.

The Rise of the Big Jets: Chuck Norris Approved!

Everyone's ordering monster twin aisle planes. Good. The world needs bigger better more Chuck Norris approved flying machines. I don't expect the recent tragedy to impact demand that much because if Chuck Norris flies I want to know that they have the best materials. Tragedy brings fear. But I will not let this crash bring fear into the market. We will learn and we will move forward!

Chuck Norris's Final Kick: Buckle Up World!

So the Paris Air Show goes on. Good. The world keeps spinning. Better. Just remember the next time you see a plane in the sky thank Chuck Norris. I once taught a 747 how to do a roundhouse kick. It's classified but trust me it's spectacular. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a date with destiny. And destiny is running late so I'm going to have to go break its legs!