Higher, Further, Faster...to the Bank: Trump Jr.'s Half-Million Dollar Club!

By the Power of Greyskull... I Mean Executive Branch!

Hey Captain Marvel here reporting live from… well not space this time. Seems like Earth's got its own kind of cosmic absurdity happening in Washington D.C. Donald Trump Jr. is launching a new private club called 'Executive Branch,' and get this the entry fee is a cool half million dollars! That's more than it costs to rebuild my ship after a particularly rough encounter with Ronan the Accuser. And people are lining up? What is this the line for the last shawarma on Earth? Seriously people priorities.

A Who's Who of... Who Cares?

Apparently the launch party was a real galaxy of luminaries – if your galaxy is populated by folks like Marco Rubio and a bunch of tech CEOs I've never heard of. Okay the Winklevoss twins are in there. Still waiting for them to tell me more about their bitcoin fortunes so I can figure out how to buy a new spaceship on the cheap. Word on the street (or you know CNBC) is that membership requires a referral and 'close screening.' So basically it’s like getting into an exclusive intergalactic cantina but with more lobbyists and less blue milk.

Is This Legal? Asking for a Skrull...

Now some folks are whispering that this whole 'Executive Branch' thing might raise some eyebrows in the ethics department. Reminds me of that time I accidentally destroyed a Skrull base while trying to save a kitten – totally unintentional but still paperwork. Apparently the Trump Hotel in D.C. had a similar vibe attracting all sorts of shady characters and foreign dignitaries back in the day. Let's hope this club doesn't become the next hot spot for interdimensional arms dealers or anything. Cause if it does well I’ll be there. Just doing my job you know keeping an eye on things.

Exclusivity: The Ultimate Power Move?

They say they don't want 'members of the media or just a lot of lobbyists joining.' Oh the irony! It's like saying you don't want any supervillains at your villain convention. Good luck with that. The whole thing screams 'We want to have conversations in privacy!' Which is code for 'We're gonna make deals you wouldn't believe and you're not invited.' Honestly I've seen less secrecy at a Skrull strategy meeting.

The Price of Privilege: Is it Worth It?

So the big question is: Is a $500,000 membership fee worth it? I mean for that kind of money you could buy a small moon or at least a really nice Kree blaster. But hey maybe these folks just really value exclusive restaurants meeting spaces and the chance to rub elbows with the movers and shakers. Or maybe they just want to be able to say they're part of the 'Executive Branch.' Whatever floats your boat I guess. Just don’t expect me to join – I have a universe to protect and frankly I can’t afford the dues after that last bar tab at the Spaceport Lounge.

Avengers Assemble... at the Bank!

So there you have it folks. Another day another head scratching headline from Earth. As for me I'm gonna go find a planet where the biggest problem is finding a decent space taco. Keep your eyes on the skies and remember even superheroes need a good laugh now and then. And maybe a side hustle to pay for all the world saving.