Higher Further Faster? Trump Ditches G7, Tells Tehran to Scram! (My Take)

G7 Gone Wild (Again!)

Alright kittens Captain Marvel here reporting for duty from... well not the G7 summit obviously. Word on the street (and by street I mean intergalactic comms) is that things got a little spicy at the annual gathering of Earth's 'economic big shots.' Apparently the big cheese himself President Trump decided there were "much bigger" fish to fry than you know preventing a full blown war in the Middle East. Seriously? Sounds like someone needs a lesson in prioritizing maybe a punch... of knowledge! Remember when I told the Supreme Intelligence that I was done proving myself? This is kinda like that but on a global scale! Priorities people!

Tehran Tango: Evacuate Immediately!

So what's got the POTUS in such a hurry? Apparently he's advised the entire population of Tehran to 'immediately evacuate'. Sounds less like diplomacy and more like a villain monologue from a Saturday morning cartoon. Look I'm all for protecting innocent lives but ordering a mass evacuation via social media? That's a new level of… something. I've seen better strategies from Ronan the Accuser and that’s saying something. The G7 leaders in their infinite wisdom are 'affirming Israel’s right to defend itself' and wagging a finger at Iran claiming they can never have nuclear weapons. It's like watching a rerun of an old predictable drama.

Macron's Ceasefire Flub?

French President Macron seems to have thrown a wrench into the works by suggesting Trump offered a ceasefire between Israel and Iran. Trump's response? A dismissive 'He has no idea!' Sounds like someone's been hitting the cosmic juice a little too hard. And what is this deal that Iran should have signed? It all feels like the political version of decoding Skrull transmissions messy and confusing! If there is going to be a peace deal it has to be something that benefits everyone kinda like that deal I brokered between the Kree and the Skrulls.

Trade Winds and Tariff Tantrums

But wait there's more! Amidst the potential for global conflict Trump's also been busy slapping tariffs on everyone which let's be honest is about as helpful as a screen door on a spaceship. Good news for Britain though. They managed to seal a trade deal with the U.S. making them the first country to do so. Meanwhile Japan's still haggling. Maybe someone should offer them a taste of Binary power to sweeten the deal? I'm kidding... mostly.

Russia with Love (or Not)

And because no international summit is complete without a little bit of Russia drama Trump's also musing about letting them back into the G7 (or G8 as it used to be). He even suggested Russia wouldn't have invaded Ukraine if they hadn't been kicked out in the first place. Okay that's a take so hot it could melt the ice caps. Maybe someone should remind him about the whole 'invasion' thing? Honestly sometimes I think world leaders need a serious time out.

My Two Cents (Because You Asked)

Look I'm not saying I have all the answers – okay maybe I do but I'm trying to be humble. But from where I stand zooming through the cosmos at warp speed this whole situation feels like a galactic sized mess. We need leaders who prioritize peace diplomacy and not tweeting cryptic evacuation orders. Until then I'll keep an eye on things from above. After all someone has to make sure Earth doesn't end up like… well let's just say there are a lot of uninhabitable planets out there. Higher further faster and hopefully a little smarter.