Higher, Further, Faster, More! Bitcoin Blasts Past $109,000!

Binary Star Power: Bitcoin's New Zenith

Greetings Earthlings! Carol Danvers here reporting live from... well still Earth but my energy is off the charts! Seems like this Bitcoin thing has gone full Super Saiyan blasting past its old records like I blast through Kree warships. According to Coin Metrics (whoever THEY are) Bitcoin hit a staggering $109,500 before settling around $108,955.10. Someone get Goose a Bitcoin! (Just kidding...mostly.)

Macro Mayhem: A Perfect Storm?

Some brainiac named Antoni Trenchev from Nexo (another set of names I do not recognize) is saying this surge is due to softer U.S. inflation a semi peace treaty in the U.S. China trade shenanigans and some debt downgrade by Moody's. Sounds like a headache only a potent Alpha Flight meeting could resolve but apparently it's good for Bitcoin! People are looking for 'alternative stores of value.' I guess punching bad guys doesn't pay the bills… unless you count the gratitude of entire galaxies. Speaking of which anyone taking Bitcoin donations for intergalactic peacekeeping missions?

From 74K to Infinity (and Beyond?)

Remember when Bitcoin was wallowing around $74,000? That was like three months ago! Earth time flies when you're busy saving the universe or apparently when the U.S. and China decide to play nice. Trenchev (still don't know who that is) thinks there's a three month window for 'risk assets' to thrive. Risk? Me? Never! (Okay maybe sometimes.)

ETF Extravaganza: $40 Billion and Counting

Apparently these fancy 'ETFs' that track Bitcoin have seen inflows of over $40 billion. That's a lot of skrull credits even by intergalactic standards! Only two days of outflows this month? Looks like Earthlings are finally catching on that Bitcoin is the real deal just like yours truly is the strongest Avenger! Also I wonder if these ETFs would invest in a Carol Danvers fan club...

Regulation Runway: Taking Off Soon?

Get this: the Senate is actually doing something useful! They're trying to create a regulatory framework for stablecoins. Even President...wait it's STILL Donald Trump? wants crypto regulation on his desk by August. Talk about a plot twist! Maybe Earth is finally getting its act together. Who knows maybe they'll even figure out how to make decent coffee in the future. In the meantime I need to get a crypto lawyer to make sure that I can get paid in Bitcoin for saving the Earth for the thousandth time.

Coinbase Joins the S&P 500: A Watershed Moment?

Coinbase whoever she is (okay I Googled it it's a company) is joining the S&P 500. Apparently Wall Street thinks this is a big deal. I'm just glad that they're not making any more of those cheesy Captain Marvel ice cream flavors. Remember that green sludge? Anyway it seems like Bitcoin and crypto are here to stay. So buckle up buttercups! The future is digital and it's blasting off faster than I can say 'Higher further faster!' Now if you'll excuse me I need to go find Goose and make sure he hasn't eaten all my Bitcoin. Captain Marvel out!