May the Odds Be Ever in Art's Favor: Billion-Dollar Auction Block Battle Looms!

A Market More Precarious Than a Mockingjay's Nest

Well folks looks like the art world is about to throw its hat into the arena and not in a volunteering as tribute kind of way. These fancy auction houses – Christie's Sotheby's and Phillips – are planning a massive sale in New York. They're shoving nearly a billion dollars' worth of art onto the auction block. You'd think after everything I've been through I’d be done with arenas but apparently everyone loves a good spectacle.

Hoping for a Spark? More Like Desperate for a Fire

The experts are saying this could be the jolt the art market needs because things have been quieter than a Peacekeeper convention. You know all orderly and menacing but ultimately dull. They're hoping the final sales will hit over $1.1 billion. That's a lot of bread even by Panem standards and certainly more than I ever made selling squirrels. Apparently people are starting to hoard art like it's the last loaf of bread during a Capitol blackout as if owning a fancy portrait is going to stop the next war.

Blame Game: It's Always Someone Else's Fault

Of course there are plenty of excuses floating around for why the art market's been sluggish. The auction houses are saying there's just not enough shiny new stuff to sell. Like where's the next Paul Allen's collection or the Macklowe horde? Honestly sounds like they're just being picky. Others are blaming China's wobbles the mess in Ukraine and Europe’s general malaise. Always passing the buck just like President Snow used to blame the districts for his bad hair days.

The Headliner: Shiny Baubles for the Elite

The main event is some Giacometti bronze bust which they think will fetch between $70 million and $90 million. I wonder if it can hunt or at least keep Prim safe. Then there's a whole collection of Roy Lichtenstein's stuff up for grabs because who wouldn't want a painting of a comic book when they could have say actual food? Then there is Christie's selling works from Louise and Leonard Riggio. The Barnes & Noble bookstore chain. What? Are they auctioning off first editions now?

Art as Therapy? More Like Art as a Tax Shelter

According to Christie's CEO Bonnie Brennan people are running to art for "peace calm and stability." Right because a Picasso is going to stop the Capitol from bombing you. She says it's an “escape.” Reminds me of when Effie Trinket would rave about the “luxury” of the Hunger Games train. Honestly these people live on another planet. I guess if you’ve got enough money to burn buying a painting is cheaper than therapy… or you know fixing the actual problems.

The Next Generation of Collectors: Because We Need More of Them

Apparently the auction houses are worried about not having enough young blood rich young blood to keep the party going. They want to lure in the youngsters with twenty first century art digital whatsits and gasp technology. According to Bonnie "They don't want to talk to us they don't want to call and they want to do everything in an easy seamless way on their phone. They want to bid online." Are they sure they aren't describing how to order from the Capitol's finest bakery?