May the Odds Be Ever in Our Favor...Or Maybe Just Slightly Less Tariffs?

Another Day Another Tariff: A Girl on Fire's Take

Well folks it seems like just when we thought the arena of global economics couldn't get any more… engaging President Trump's back with another twist. Seems he's decided seven countries – Japan South Korea Malaysia Kazakhstan South Africa Laos and Myanmar – need a bit of 'reaping' in the form of new tariffs. Starting August 1st their goods are going to cost more to get into the U.S. I swear this is starting to feel like another Hunger Games only instead of fighting for survival we're fighting over… trade deficits. At least in the Hunger Games we knew who the enemy was it's harder to root against trade Deficits anyone knows how to make a Mockingjay symbol for Trade Deficits? Cause I don't...

25% 30% 40%? What is this a Discount or a Distraction?

According to the letters Trump's been sending out via social media (because apparently that's how diplomacy works now who needs Peacekeepers?) goods from Japan South Korea Malaysia and Kazakhstan are looking at a 25% tariff. South Africa gets the 'privilege' of a 30% hit while Laos and Myanmar are staring down a whopping 40%. It’s like they’re drawing numbers for a particularly unpleasant lottery. And honestly the idea that these could be adjusted based on our 'relationship' with each country sounds like something President Snow would say right before unleashing muttations. A way of creating fear hope and ultimately control.

The 'Perhaps' Clause: A Promise or a Threat? I can't tell the difference anymore!

Now here's the kicker: Trump's letters include this little gem: the U.S. will 'perhaps' consider adjusting these tariffs. 'Perhaps'? That's about as reassuring as Effie Trinket telling you the odds are ever in your favor. It's a vague unsettling promise dangling just out of reach. And the fact that these tariffs are supposedly separate from other duties on specific sectors? It feels like the Capitol is just layering on the pain one tax at a time.

Delay Delay Delay: Another Game of Cat and Mouse

Originally these tariffs were supposed to snap back into place on Wednesday but then Press Secretary Leavitt (definitely a Capitol name if I ever heard one) announced a delay until August 1st. So basically another three weeks of uncertainty which is precisely what Trump wants. It is all a part of his plans to control the game. Just when you think you know the rules they change. Sound familiar?

Markets Go Down: Is Anyone Really Surprised?

Unsurprisingly the markets took a hit when the news broke. The Dow the S&P the Nasdaq – all down. It's like everyone collectively realized they'd rather face a pack of tracker jackers than deal with another round of tariff tantrums. Seriously who benefits from this? Other than maybe the Avoxes who get paid to crunch the numbers I fail to see the advantage to all this madness.

Transshipping Shenanigans: Don't Try to Cheat or Else! (And Maybe Even if You Don't)

And here's a friendly warning: don't even THINK about trying to sneak around these tariffs by shipping goods through other countries. Trump's watching and he's got his eye on anyone trying to 'evade' the system. It's all so… dramatic. Like he thinks he's the Head Gamemaker of international trade. Honestly all this talk of tariffs and trade deficits makes me want to grab my bow and head back into the woods. At least there I know what I'm fighting for: survival and a decent squirrel stew. And for those countries thinking of retaliating? Don't even bother Trump's already threatened to add YOUR tariffs onto HIS. It's like he's allergic to compromise... or maybe just good sense.