This is the Way... To a $6.4 Billion Deal! OpenAI Buys Ive's 'io'

I Have Spoken: OpenAI's Big Bounty

I've seen a lot of credits change hands in my time from bounties on scum to precious beskar ingots. But this... this is a whole other level. OpenAI those wizards with the glowing screens are buying Jony Ive's 'io' for 6.4 billion credits. All equity mind you. Means they're betting big on this 'inspire empower and enable' thing Ive's peddling. He's also taking on "deep creative and design responsibilities across OpenAI and io"... sounds like a busy shift even for a Mandalorian.

This Is The Way To A Merger

According to the official comms 'io' is merging with OpenAI but Ive and his 'creative collective' called LoveFrom will stay independent. Sounds like a complicated way to skin a gundark if you ask me. Guess they want to keep their options open just in case this whole AI thing goes south faster than a podracer with a busted engine. Ive's bringing his Apple buddies too: Scott Cannon Tang Tan and Evans Hankey. Maybe they can teach OpenAI a thing or two about shiny buttons and minimalistic designs.

I Can Bring You In Warm Or I Can Bring You In Cold (But Mostly Warm)

OpenAI is shelling out 5 billion credits because they already owned 23% of 'io'. Seems they had a hunch this was the way. This is OpenAI's biggest score yet dwarfing their recent grabs of Windsurf (the coding gizmo) and Rockset (the database rock). They are making their own Supercommando army with these acquisitions. Gotta say I admire the hustle. But remember: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size do you?

Once I Was a Foundling...

Ive left Apple back in '19 to start LoveFrom. These high end design gurus charge up to $200 million a year to help design products and give creative guidance. It's like charging the New Republic for directions. Now LoveFrom’s website has nothing to say about this “io” thing. Curious... But I am the Way and this secrecy is not the Way. Something doesn't add up. My helmet is telling me to be careful.

The Algorithm Has Spoken

This move comes as OpenAI valued at a staggering 300 billion credits is battling to stay ahead in the AI wars. Google Anthropic Musk's xAI... they're all throwing credits around like it's Life Day. OpenAI's even beefing up their hardware game hiring Meta's old AR glasses honcho and investing in robot startups. They're building an army I tell you. An army of algorithms and droids. I don't like the sound of that.

This Is The Way... To World Domination?

OpenAI is betting big on this whole “AI in the physical world” thing. Robots gadgets gizmos... they want it all. It all sounds like Moff Gideon's schemes with Grogu's blood. But this could reshape the galaxy or turn it into a bunch of scrap metal and abandoned settlements. I sure hope they know what they're doing. Because if they don't I might just have to step in. And that my friends wouldn't be pretty. I have spoken.