Federal Reserve Holds Steady: Does the Economy Need a Roundhouse Kick?

The Fed's Holding Pattern: A Stall Tactic?

The Federal Reserve decided to keep interest rates where they are. Some call it patience; I call it delaying the inevitable. The economy is like a rattlesnake; if you don't handle it right it'll bite you and then you'll need more than a band aid. Holding steady is fine but when Chuck Norris holds steady it's before he delivers a roundhouse kick that realigns the Earth's axis. Let's hope the Fed has something similar planned.

Trump's Tariffs: A Trade War...or a Gentle Sparring Match?

Trump's tariffs are making waves or maybe it's just the wake from my speedboat. Either way these tariffs are like trying to herd cats – unpredictable and potentially messy. The Fed's worried about inflation and slowing growth. Newsflash: Chuck Norris doesn't worry; he anticipates adapts and then conquers. The economy needs a swift kick in the pants not a trade war tango.

Stagflation: Is It Back?

Stagflation. Sounds like something you'd find in a dusty old textbook or maybe a creature I fought in 'Missing in Action Part 7: The Search for Lower Inflation.' The Fed's statement hinted at it which is like saying 'Chuck Norris might be dangerous.' It's an understatement. If stagflation comes back I'm bringing back my mullet. That'll scare it away.

The Market's Shaky Knees

The S&P 500 got nervous. The market's like a scared puppy – easily spooked. But Chuck Norris doesn't get spooked. He stares down fear until fear changes its pants. The market needs to toughen up. Maybe I should give it a few martial arts lessons. Problem solved.

Positive Signs? Maybe a Mirage

They say the economy is expanding at a solid pace. Well I expand at a solid pace after a steak dinner. But seriously job growth is good but the rest is suspect. These 'positive signs' are like when the bad guy thinks he's won...right before Chuck Norris enters the scene. Don't get cocky economy; I'm watching you.

The Fed's Next Move: Will They Unleash the Beast?

The Fed's got traders guessing. Will they cut rates? Will they stand pat? The suspense is killing everyone except Chuck Norris who is already dead...inside from pure awesomeness. Whatever they do they better do it with the precision of a well timed flying kick. Otherwise they'll have to answer to me...and you won't like me when I'm angry.