Chuck Norris on the Economy: When Bonds Get Tough, the Tough Issue Tariffs!

Inflation? I Don't Negotiate with Numbers.

This week the so called experts are sweating over inflation numbers. Consumer Prices Producer Prices... Sounds like a recipe for a roundhouse kick to the economy! They're expecting modest increases but I know better. Inflation is like a beard – it keeps growing unless you shave it down with a swift dose of reality. And by reality I mean tariffs. Some blame them for inflation but Chuck Norris doesn't blame. Chuck Norris acts. If these inflation reports dare to surprise us on the upside I'll personally deliver a stern talking to... with my fist.

Treasury Auctions: A Referendum on Debt Policies or Just Another Day for Chuck Norris?

These Treasury auctions are being called a 'referendum on government debt policies.' Well let me tell you the only policy Chuck Norris recognizes is fiscal responsibility. Selling billions in 10 year notes and 30 year bonds? Sounds like someone's been hitting the 'easy button' on the printing press. But fear not America Chuck Norris is here to keep an eye on things. If these auctions go south I'll renegotiate the terms... with my glare. Remember Chuck Norris doesn't need credit; credit needs Chuck Norris.

Deficits: A Black Hole or a Chuck Norris Challenge?

Now everyone's suddenly worried about deficits. Where were these folks when the spending spree started? Ignoring the swelling government red ink is like ignoring a rattlesnake in your boot – eventually you're gonna get bit. Yields are surging because investors want more compensation for holding what they thought was a risk free investment. Well newsflash: the only risk free investment is trusting Chuck Norris to protect your assets. I once stared down a bear market and it blinked first.

Trump's Spending Bill and Tariffs: A One Two Punch to the Economy?

Trump's 'big beautiful' spending bill and those tariffs are stirring up trouble. One thing I know for sure: "If you mess with the bull you get the horns." I'm not saying they're good or bad but I am saying that the economy is like a wild horse – you need to know how to ride it or you'll get thrown. And trust me you don't want to be thrown by the economy; it's a rough landing.

Volatility: Chuck Norris's Natural Habitat

This all sets the stage for more volatility in the fixed income market. Volatility? That's just Tuesday for Chuck Norris. They say things crack suddenly and it's hard to predict when. Well Chuck Norris predicts it: they crack when I say they crack. The market is worried about yields suddenly shooting up. I say let them shoot. Chuck Norris can catch a bullet in his teeth; a yield spike is just a minor inconvenience.

Cooling Economy? Chuck Norris Runs Hot!

The experts say the economy is cooling but I disagree. The economy is just waiting for Chuck Norris to give it a jump start. The employment numbers and consumer demand are showing signs of slowing. This makes some people nervous but it doesn't bother me. When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't push himself up he pushes the Earth down. When Chuck Norris gets involved things heat up and the economy knows it.