Shiver Me Timbers! Trump's Troop Deployment Costs a King's Ransom!

Why is the Rum Gone? Oh Wait It's the Troop Deployment!

Savvy? It's your Captain Jack Sparrow here reporting live from…well wherever the wind takes me which is currently close enough to Los Angeles to catch wind of this outrage! Seems ol' Trump aye *that* Trump decided to send in the troops – National Guard types and Marines – to deal with what they call 'immigration enforcement protests.' Now I've seen my fair share of squabbles over treasure (and usually instigated them) but this… this is a whole new level of 'yo ho ho and a barrel of…expenses?!'

One Hundred and Thirty Four Million Pieces of Eight!

And what's the damage you ask? A paltry sum? A few doubloons? Nay I say! We're talking about *one hundred and thirty four million* dollars! Aye you heard right! That's enough to buy a whole fleet of Black Pearls or at least a *very* nice dinghy. Seems this Bryn Woollacott MacDonnell lass at the Pentagon was kind enough to spill the beans or rather count the gold. Housing travel and grub for the lads she says. Seems awfully extravagant even for a pirate like meself.

Operation & Maintenance? More Like Operation Over Spending!

Apparently this whole shebang is being funded by the military's 'Operation & Maintenance' accounts. Operation & Maintenance? More like Operation Drain the Treasury! I could maintain the *Black Pearl* for a decade with that kind of coin. Wonder if they’re including hazard pay for dealing with…protesters. I hear they can be a feisty bunch especially when their freedom be at stake. Not that I'd know anything about *that*.

Hegseth's Defense: A Pirate's Parrot?

Then there’s this Hegseth chap the Defense Secretary defending the whole thing like a pirate defending his treasure! 'Every American citizen deserves to live in a community that's safe,' he squawks 'and ICE agents need to be able to do their job.' Seems a bit… well robotic don't you think? Like he's reading from a script. A poorly written one at that. Reminds me of Barbossa trying to be reasonable. Never works does it?

Sixty Days of This Madness!

And the madness doesn't end there! This deployment this… *extravaganza* is slated to last 60 days! Sixty days of guards and marines all funded by your hard earned pieces of eight! By the time it’s over the treasury will be drier than a bone in the Devil's Triangle! I say where's the rum when you need it?

Perhaps a Different Course is Needed

So there you have it mateys. A king’s ransom spent on a whole lot of… well I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps a bit of diplomacy a touch of understanding and a whole lot less *military posturing* might be a better course. But what do I know? I'm just a pirate…with impeccable taste and a nose for trouble...and apparently a knack for reporting the news. Now where's that rum?