Savvy Skies or Scurvy System? Newark Flights Grounded!

Shiver Me Timbers the Radar's Gone Dark!

Blast and Barnacles! Seems there's been a right kerfuffle in the skies above Newark. A mere 90 second equipment hiccup they say? Aye but even a second can be an eternity when you're tryin' to avoid runnin' into another ship... er plane I mean. They say it's like 'Windows 95 and floppy disks' running the show. I've seen more reliable technology on a desert island! As I always say "Why is the rum always gone?" Well now I know it's probably keeping the servers from crashing.

Avast Ye Mateys! We're Understaffed!

Now I've seen a skeleton crew on a ghost ship but this... this is somethin' else! Seems there aren't enough air traffic controllers to keep these metal birds from bumpin' into each other. 'Tis a sorry state of affairs I tell ye! They say there's a shortage of 3,000 controllers. Why I could train a parrot to do a better job and at least it'd squawk a warning before disaster strikes. But then again even a parrot needs a decent share of crackers and grog.

Newark: The Bermuda Triangle of the Air

Newark eh? Feels like a ship trapped in the doldrums. Seems this airport is more cramped than my cabin after a raid. Flights are delayed schedules are cut and everyone's pointin' fingers like a compass gone mad! United Airlines is cuttin' flights claimin' Newark can't handle the traffic. Why is it always the rum is gone? Now there are delays too! Not good...

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Fiber Optics!

But fear not brave travelers! The FAA bless their bureaucratic hearts are steppin' in to fix things. They're addin' staff fixin' communication lines and even talkin' 'bout a 'fiberoptic network.' Sounds fancy! Like hookin' up a Kraken to the internet. But like the good Commodore always said "This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" Hopefully they'll actually fix it. Now!

Dead Men Tell No Tales...But Airlines Do!

The airlines are cryin' foul wantin' capacity limits imposed. They say the FAA eased flight restrictions back in '16 and now it's payback time. “It’s long past time to treat EWR like the crown jewel that it is,” says some fancy CEO. Crown jewel eh? Sounds like somethin' I could fence. Where's my compass?

More Controllers Than Doubloons?

Ah the quest for more controllers! Apparently applyin' is harder than findin' Isla de Muerta. Out of 146,000 applicants only a tiny fraction make it through. Seems the job is so gruelin' they force ye to retire at 56. Me? I plan on sailin' 'til the seas swallow me whole. Perhaps they need to offer a lifetime supply of rum as a bonus? That'd get some applications rollin' in savvy?