Doordash Dips While Dining Dreams Dominate: Is it Hubris or Just Hungry Gods?

By Hera They Bought a Restaurant Booker!

Greetings mortals! Wonder Woman here reporting from the front lines of… the food delivery wars? Apparently Doordash has decided to throw a cool $1.2 billion at SevenRooms a restaurant booking platform. Now I've faced down Ares himself but navigating a Friday night dinner reservation? That's a true test of strength. They say it'll close in the second half of 2025 giving me plenty of time to figure out how to use it. I hope they have a senior discount. After all I am over 5000 years old!.

Deliveroo? More Like Deliver WHOA!

Not content with just one conquest Doordash has also set its sights on Deliveroo a British food delivery service for a staggering $3.9 billion. That's a lot of ambrosia! They claim it'll "expand their ability to build world class services." World class? I've seen world class. It usually involves more than just delivering my pizza. Let's hope this isn't another Trojan Horse situation because I'm fresh out of wooden horses!

Orders Up But Expectations Down?

Here's where things get a little… demigod level confusing. Doordash proudly declared a total of 732 million orders a respectable 18% jump. However those pesky analysts over at StreetAccount were expecting 732.7 million. Seven hundred THOUSAND orders! Imagine all the hungry souls! Is it ever enough? One can only hope it is. It's all about perspective and if they can keep those delivery drivers away from Ares' influence we might just see smooth deliveries. The stock then dropped 5%. Honestly you mortals and your market whims are more unpredictable than a Gorgon's hair day.

Money Money Money (Isn't Always Funny)

In Q1 2025 Doordash saw a net income of $193 million. Not bad considering last year they were swimming in a $23 million loss. They're projecting adjusted earnings before interest taxes and… well you get the idea of $600 to $650 million for the next quarter. The analysts of course were hoping for $639 million. All these numbers are giving me a headache. Maybe I should stick to lassoing bad guys. It's simpler.

Groceries? They're Becoming Quite a 'Thing'

Apparently Doordash is making inroads in the grocery delivery game. People are spending more and buying more perishable items. Which is great unless you're the delivery driver trying to keep my ice cream from melting on a hot day. Now that would be a challenge worthy of Hercules! They didn't mention tariffs but did acknowledge the risks of international escapades. Geopolitics and currency fluctuations? Sounds like another Tuesday in Themyscira dealing with Ares.

A Warrior's Conclusion

So what have we learned? Doordash is expanding acquiring and generally trying to conquer the food delivery world. They're facing challenges meeting expectations… mostly and keeping those accountants busy. As for me I'll stick to fighting for truth justice and a world where everyone can get a decent gyro delivered without waiting an eternity. Now if you'll excuse me I have a date with a certain Amazonian hotdog. Farewell!