This is the Way... to Buy a Genome: Regeneron Snaps Up 23andMe's DNA Like a Bounty

A Mando's Gotta Eat and Regeneron's Hungry for Genes

I have spoken. Regeneron a company that sounds like it belongs on Coruscant just snagged 'substantially all' of 23andMe for a measly $256 million. 23andMe used to be high flying but then they went belly up faster than a Jawa selling scrap. Seems like everyone wants a piece of the DNA action these days even if it means diving into the Sarlacc pit of bankruptcy court. This is the way I guess if you're a big pharma company looking for a quick score.

No Telehealth for You! (Unless You're Already Employed)

Here's the karkin' twist: Regeneron *isn't* buying Lemonaid Health 23andMe's telehealth arm. That's getting scrapped faster than a droid in a sandstorm. But plot twist Regeneron says they'll take all the workers from the divisions they acquired. It's a decent move. At least they’re not leaving folks out in the cold like a bantha on Hoth. This is the way to not get a reputation as a heartless scavenger.

From Disruptor to Disrupted: The 23andMe Saga

Remember when 23andMe was all the rage? They were riding high worth billions. Now they're worth less than a pile of womp rat droppings. Turns out giving people insights into their family tree is a cool party trick but it doesn't pay the bills especially when recurring revenue goes missing faster than a Jawa with a stolen droid part. It's a cautionary tale like IG 11 turning nanny droid. Times change.

Data Breach Blues: Privacy Concerns Persist Like a Rancor's Odor

Of course no deal these days is without its complications. Seven million customers had their data leaked. That's a bigger security breach than when the Empire lost the Death Star plans. Now everyone’s sweating about consumer privacy. There's even a 'Consumer Privacy Ombudsman' poking around. I bet that guy wishes he had a suit of beskar armor right about now.

The FTC is Watching: They're Always Watching...

The Federal Trade Commission and a bunch of lawmakers are poking their noses in worried about genetic data falling into the wrong hands. Good. Someone needs to keep an eye on these things. You can't just go around selling people's DNA like spice on Kessel. It’s a dangerous business this. Reminds me of dealing with the Guild back in the day.

This is the Way... to a Courtroom: Approval Pending

So the deal’s not done yet. It's got to get approved by the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Eastern District of Missouri. Sounds thrilling doesn't it? If it goes through expect it to close in the third quarter. Until then everyone's holding their breath hoping the Empire—I mean the FTC—doesn't throw a wrench in the works. I have spoken. This is the way... maybe.