Uber's Wild Ride: Profits Soar, Revenue Dips, and Robotaxis Take the Wheel

Shaken Not Stirred: Uber's Financial Cocktail

Well well well what do we have here? Seems Uber has had a bit of a 'Q' moment a quarter that is. The numbers are in and it's a mixed bag much like a martini – a little shaken a little stirred. Earnings per share clocked in at 83 cents leaving analysts looking like they'd just been handed a Walther PPK. Revenue however played hard to get landing at $11.53 billion a slight 'miss' if you will. But as I always say 'Never say never' to a good profit.

From Zero to Hero: Uber's Profit Revival

The real spectacle is Uber's turnaround from a net loss of $654 million in the first quarter of '24 to a net income of $1.78 billion this year. That's a bigger comeback than my reputation after a particularly messy poker game in Monte Carlo. Apparently they've been taking lessons from Goldfinger turning losses into gold – or at least something resembling it. Khosrowshahi and Mahendra Rajah are forecasting some rather bullish figures for the current quarter with gross bookings expected to reach between $45.75 billion and $47.25 billion and EBITDA in the range of $2.02 billion to $2.12 billion.

FTC Troubles: A License to Bill?

Ah but every rose has its thorn and every successful ride sharing app has its legal troubles. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has accused Uber of "deceptive billing and cancellation practices" with its Uber One subscription. Khosrowshahi dismisses it as a "head scratcher," like Blofeld trying to understand my impeccable fashion sense. He even encourages people to try cancelling the service a bold move considering the situation. I suppose he's hoping everyone will find it as easy as diffusing a bomb with seconds to spare.

The Business of Mobility and Deliveries: All in a Day's Work

Uber's bread and butter the ride hailing and food delivery services continue to chug along nicely. Mobility saw a 13% increase in gross bookings while deliveries jumped by 15%. It seems people are either going places or ordering in and Uber is happy to oblige. They also boast 170 million monthly active platform consumers a 14% increase from last year. That's a lot of people relying on Uber to get them from A to B or to bring the world's delicacies to their doorstep. It's a bit like my job really – except instead of driving I save the world and instead of food I deliver justice. Or at least try to.

Return to the Office: A Heated Debate

In a move that would make even Q raise an eyebrow Uber is making its employees return to the office three days a week instead of two and made changes to its month long paid sabbatical benefit raising the requirement from five years at the company to eight years. Khosrowshahi defended the policy changes at a heated all hands meeting stating that the company needs to be at the top of their game which means people working together in the office. It is all a bit controversial reminiscent of a villain's lair with everyone back in the office except here they are fighting the traffic not me.

Robot Revolution: Licence to Drive... Itself

But the real game changer is Uber's push into autonomous vehicles. Khosrowshahi calls it the "single greatest opportunity ahead for Uber." Robotaxis are already available in some U.S. markets and food delivery via autonomous vehicles is also a reality. They even reached an "annual run rate" of 1.5 million autonomous vehicle trips and their Waymo partnership in Austin is exceeding expectations. It seems Uber is looking to create a world where drivers are obsolete much like my gadgets render conventional espionage techniques... almost obsolete. I wonder if these robotaxis come with ejector seats? One can only hope.