Global Payments Just Made a HUGE Mistake! Is This the End?!

A Dragon's Eye View of the Financial Fray

Fools! They play at empires with numbers instead of dragons. I Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen First of Her Name Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons have seen more stable alliances in a Dothraki wedding! Global Payments in their infinite (and clearly misguided) wisdom decided to buy Worldpay for a sum that would make even a Lannister blush – $24 billion! Simultaneously they tossed away their Issuer Solutions business to Fidelity National Information Services (FIS). One hand gives the other takes. Such generosity or perhaps such folly?

Burning Down the House…of Finance?

They claim this acquisition will grant them access to over 6 million customers across more than 175 countries facilitating $3.7 trillion in annual payment volume. Numbers numbers numbers! I command dragons not decimals! But even I can see that something smells fishier than the docks of King’s Landing after a long siege. Selling their Issuer Solutions to FIS for $13.5 billion… it’s like trading a dragon egg for a bag of fool’s gold.

“When You Play the Game of Stocks You Win or You Die.” Or…Just Lose 17%?

Apparently Global Payments aims to become the undisputed ruler of merchant payment services while FIS wants to hoard the back end processing. It reminds me of Robert Baratheon wanting the glory of battle while Jon Arryn handled the boring bits of ruling. And we all know how that turned out didn't we? Their CEO Cameron Bready called it a “defining day.” I suspect it will be… but perhaps not in the way he imagines. A defining day of regrettable choices and plummeting shares perhaps.

Wall Street Isn't Buying It (Literally)

Unlike my loyal Unsullied Wall Street isn't so easily convinced. Mizuho in their infinite (and somewhat more rational) assessment deemed this move a “strategic step backward.” Ouch! They even dared to suggest that FIS those sneaky schemers won the trade snagging the “crown jewel” while Global Payments is left with… well “more of the same.” It's like offering me stale bread after I've tasted dragonfire cuisine!

A Lannister Always Pays His Debts…But What About Global Payments?

To add insult to injury Global Payments plans to issue $7.7 billion of debt. Debt! The very thing that crippled the Iron Throne for so long! This smells like another King’s Landing waiting to happen. “Fire and Blood,” indeed. Mostly blood from the balance sheets it seems.

Winter Is Coming…For Global Payments?

These deals are slated to close in the first half of 2026 assuming they can navigate the regulatory labyrinth. But even if they do the stink of this transaction will linger longer than the stench of the Great Sept burning. Perhaps they should have consulted with a dragon before making such… questionable… decisions. After all “I will take what is mine with fire and blood…and maybe a sternly worded letter to the SEC.”