Google's Antitrust Tango: Even CR7 Knows a Good Monopoly When He Sees One!

The DOJ's Demands? Sounds Like a Transfer Request!

Alright alright settle down. It's your favorite footballer Cristiano Ronaldo here to give you the real scoop on this whole Google DOJ drama. You know me I always aim for the top just like Google in search. But even the best sometimes face a little…competition. Word on the street is the DOJ wants Google to share its secrets like my training regime! They want Google to open its treasure chest of data you know the click data. Next they will want me to share my abs routine! It seems excessive even for someone as driven as yours truly. "Your love makes me stronger your hate makes me unstoppable," but even I need my data private right?

1,000 to 2,000 Employees? That's a Whole New Squad!

Google says they'd need to throw 20% of their search team at these changes. 20%! That's like asking me to play midfield! I mean I *could* but would you really want to see that? They are saying the knowledge graph has more than 500 billion facts. That's like the number of times I've heard my name chanted in a stadium! They've spent over $20 billion. That's like…well let's just say I know a thing or two about investments and this is a BIG number!

Apple's 'Best Search Engine'? Or Best Paying?

Now this is where it gets interesting. Apple's Eddy Cue says Google is the "best search engine." Hmm is it really the *best* or just the one paying the most for that sweet sweet default spot on iPhones? It's like saying I'm the best looking athlete…which let's be honest is probably true. But still a little healthy competition never hurt anyone! But seriously billions of dollars? That's a lot of Al Nassr contracts!

Chrome Divestiture: The Ultimate Red Card?

They're even talking about making Google sell Chrome! That's like taking away my… well I don't know my perfectly sculpted hair? (Okay maybe not *that* dramatic). But still a big move. Sounds like someone is trying to score a penalty kick in the business world. And we all know how dramatic those can be. SIIIUUUUUUUU!

Privacy Risks? I Know a Thing or Two About Being in the Spotlight!

Google is worried about privacy. Let's be real try being as famous as CR7 and talk about privacy! It is a real concern though. I mean everyone wants a piece of the GOAT but there's a line right? Google is saying sharing data is risky. I believe them. Some things are best kept between you and your trusted team…and maybe a few carefully chosen paparazzi.

The Final Whistle: August Will Be the Decisive Moment!

So closing arguments are at the end of May and the judge's decision is expected in August. The stakes are high folks. Google is facing another trial in September for its ad tech business. It's like a Champions League final back to back! Let's see if they can pull off the win. I'll be watching of course between training sessions endorsement deals and generally being the best. Stay tuned because this is one match you don't want to miss. SIIIUUUUUUUU!