Apple's Epic Fail: Judge Orders Apple to Play Fair With Fortnite, or Face the CR7 Wrath!

Siiiuuu! Another Apple Controversy?

Alright folks Cristiano Ronaldo here reporting live from… well not the pitch today. Apparently Apple is playing games and not the fun kind. They're messing with Fortnite a game that's almost as popular as me… almost! They keep trying to dribble past the rules but the judge is having none of it. It seems even Apple can't escape the wrath of a good referee. Talk about a proper offside trap. 'Your love makes me stronger Your hate makes me unstoppable' Apple hate is making me unstoppable!

The Judge Speaks: No More Apple Shenanigans!

This Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers sounds like a tough cookie even tougher than some defenders I've faced! She's basically told Apple 'Listen here either sort this Fortnite mess out or face the music!' She's demanding answers and if Apple doesn't comply someone important from Apple better show up in court. I bet they're sweating more than I do after a 90 minute match!

Tim Sweeney's Tweet Storm: Accusations Fly!

Tim Sweeney the head honcho at Epic Games is not holding back. He's on X (formerly Twitter or as I call it the 'social media pitch') calling out Apple for basically ignoring their Fortnite submission. Can you imagine? Ignoring the most handsome game in the world is like ignoring one of my free kicks! Unforgivable! 'I don't have to show anything to anyone. There is nothing to prove.' Well... maybe to the Judge!

Apple's Dodgy Defense: A Legal Own Goal?

So Apple is trying to argue that they can just ignore the court's orders? That's like me saying I don't have to score goals – ridiculous! The judge wants to know what legal magic they're trying to pull. Honestly it sounds like they're about to score a spectacular own goal in the legal Champions League. I would never ever do that! (Unless it's for a hilarious TikTok).

Flashback: The Original Sin (of Direct Payments)

Let's rewind. This whole drama started because Epic dared to use a direct payment system in Fortnite something Apple didn't like. It's like me trying to decide my own salary – it doesn't go down well with the owners does it? Apple kicked Fortnite off the App Store and the legal battle began. Now even Spotify and Amazon Kindle are getting in on the action offering purchases outside of Apple's grasp! Seems like a whole team is getting ready to play against Apple.

Is Apple About to Get Carded?

It looks like this saga will drag on for a while. If Apple doesn't shape up they might face some serious penalties. I'm talking financial penalties reputation penalties the whole shebang! Maybe they should just let Fortnite back in the App Store and we can all go back to enjoying victory royales – and watching me score goals of course. After all 'Sometimes I see the net and I think I must kick it. It's a feeling!' And Apple must reinstate Fortnite!