Higher, Further, Faster: Nvidia's CEO Declares Nintendo Switch 2 'Unlike Anything We've Built Before!'

Faster Than a Speeding Photon Blast!

Alright Earthlings Carol Danvers here reporting live from… well wherever the signal's strongest. Word on the street (and by 'street' I mean intergalactic comms) is that the Nintendo Switch 2 is about to drop and Nvidia's CEO Jensen Huang is making some serious noise about it. Apparently this thing is supposed to be 'unlike anything they've built before.' Sounds like something I'd say about my energy blasts honestly. Higher further faster baby!

Power Overwhelming!

Huang's boasting about 'the most advanced graphics ever in a mobile device,' 'full hardware ray tracing,' and 'high dynamic range.' I mean I deal with cosmic rays on the daily but this ray tracing stuff sounds pretty cool even to me. Plus backward compatibility? Someone's been listening to my 'Blast from the Past' playlist. Though personally I'm still waiting for them to make a game where you can actually fly through space and punch alien overlords. Make it happen Nintendo!

AI: Not Just for Ultron Anymore

Dedicated artificial intelligence processors huh? To 'sharpen animate and enhance gameplay in real time.' Sounds a bit like what my Kree enhancements do for my reflexes except without the whole 'brainwashing' side effect. I'm hoping it doesn't turn sentient and try to take over the world... Again! Seriously Earth be careful with that AI stuff.

Eight Years?! Time Flies When You're Saving the Universe.

Apparently it's been eight years since the last Nintendo console. Eight years! I've fought Ronan the Accuser twice in that time. No pressure Switch 2 but you've got a lot to live up to. Especially at $449.99. That's almost enough for a decent cup of intergalactic coffee. Almost.

A Tribute Worthy of Coulson

Huang even paid tribute to the late Satoru Iwata. 'Switch 2 is more than a new console; it's a new chapter worthy of Iwata san's vision.' Okay that's actually pretty touching. Makes me think of Coulson. He would have LOVED this thing. Maybe I'll sneak one onto the Quinjet for him...from another timeline of course.

15 Million Units? Challenge Accepted!

Nintendo expects to sell 15 million units? That's cute. I once destroyed 15 million Kree sentry bots before breakfast. But seriously good luck to them. If this thing lives up to the hype maybe it'll finally distract everyone from asking me about my hair. One can hope.