Savvy Exit Strategy: Captain Jack Weighs In on Musk's Government Getaway!

Why is the Rum Always Gone?

Savvy? Capiche? I Captain Jack Sparrow have heard whispers on the wind… whispers of a landlubber named Elon Musk a man apparently richer than a chest of Aztec gold. Seems he's been playing at politics with a fellow named Trump reducing this so called 'wasteful spending.' Wasteful you say? Tell that to a pirate trying to buy a decent bottle of rum these days! Of course I will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.

130 Days? That's Barbarossa's Sentence!

Apparently Musk had a mere 130 days to play at being a government man. 130 days! That's less time than it takes to negotiate a fair trade with the East India Trading Company (and we all know how *that* goes). He was leading the 'Department of Government Efficiency,' or 'DOGE' as they call it. DOGE! Sounds like a scurvy cur to me. Makes me wonder if I should rename the Pearl the 'Black DOGE'. Hmm not as catchy I guess!

A Pirate's Life... or a CEO's?

Now this Musk fellow claims he's off to focus on his businesses. Tesla SpaceX xAI… sounds like a whole fleet of galleons! He's saying his time running 'DOGE' will drop significantly. Well I always say if you're going to be a pirate be a *good* pirate. Or a good CEO I suppose if that's your fancy. Less time for DOGE more time for… well more treasure I presume. And rum of course.

The White House... My Kind of Island!

He even has a small office at the White House. An office! I Captain Jack Sparrow barely have a deck to stand on and he gets an office? It's not about the treasure it's about the journey! Still a pirate could get used to having his own room and what about the rum ration?

The Curse of the Lawsuits!

Ah but here's where it gets interesting. Legal risks are building up they say. Accusations of violating federal laws while leading 'DOGE.' Seems even landlubbers can't escape the curse of the law. Just ask any self respecting pirate with a warrant for their arrest. It is without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever seen.

More than 40 Hours? That's Just Cruel!

And as if all that wasn't enough these pension fund leaders are demanding he put in at least 40 hours a week at Tesla. 40 hours! That's more time than I spend sober in a month! They say it's a condition for his future pay. I say why work when you can *take*? Savvy?