Tesla's Full Self-Driving...ARE WE READY FOR ROBOTAXIS OR A ROBOT APOCALYPSE?!

Allllrighty Then! FSD: Fact or Fiction?

Folks Ace Ventura here Pet Detective and now apparently Robo Ride Investigator! Elon Musk bless his cotton socks (or should I say silicon chips?) has been yapping about self driving Teslas for a decade! A DECADE I TELL YA! That's like seven dog years! But has it happened? Nope! Nada! Zilch! It's like trying to teach a rhino to do ballet – possible in theory but messy in practice. What we got is a fancy schmancy driving system they call Full Self Driving (Supervised). Supervised people! Meaning YOU gotta pay attention. It's like having a parrot drive your car...it might squawk directions but you still gotta hold the wheel!

Hands On? More Like Hands OFF...Disaster!

Now Tesla's owner's manuals are clear: "Keep your hands on the steering wheel!" But do people listen? Of course not! They're all like "Look Ma no hands!" ...Right before they end up in a ditch! This has caused shall we say a *slight* bit of controversy. We're talking accidents injuries maybe even a few…*gasp*… fatalities! It's like tempting fate while juggling chainsaws on a unicycle. Not a good look folks not a good look.

DOGE Days are Over? Or Are They Just Getting Started?!

And get this Musk is knee deep in this 'Department of Government Efficiency' (DOGE) thingy...sounds fishy to me. And layoffs? A whopping 280,000! Talk about a productivity drain! This is causing more backlash than a skunk at a perfume convention! People are boycotting protesting even vandalizing! It's a real 'don't go there' situation. Seems people are trading in their Teslas faster than you can say 'Alllllrighty then!'

Stock Tanking Faster Than a Lead Balloon!

The stock is plummeting like a seagull after a dropped french fry. Down 36%! Ouch! And deliveries are down too! What's a billionaire to do? But don't fret investors! Apparently they're gonna launch a 'robotaxi' in Austin! Because what could possibly go wrong with a driverless car in Texas? I can just see it now...yeehaw! Buckle up buttercup!

Robotaxi Roulette: June is the Judgement Month

Musk promises this robotaxi service by June. But is FSD ready? Some experts are saying 'Hold your horses!' One guy Sam Abuelsamid says there's "no evidence" it's ready. Apparently it works great until it doesn't. Like a chihuahua with a Napoleon complex – cute until it bites your ankles! It's like "Excuse me nature calling!"...straight into a brick wall!

Will FSD Save the Day or Drive Us to Destruction?!

So what's the verdict? Is Tesla's FSD a game changer or a disaster waiting to happen? Is Musk a visionary or a… well let's just say 'eccentric'? Only time will tell! But one thing's for sure: this June Austin is about to get a whole lot more interesting. And if you see a robotaxi careening down the street with a squirrel behind the wheel just remember: Ace Ventura warned you!