
Bezos's Big Bye Bye to Bezos Bucks!
Okay folks gather 'round! Ace Ventura Pet Detective *and* financial analyst (don't ask) is on the case! Turns out Jeff Bezos the guy who brought you everything from toilet paper to toupees in two days flat just offloaded a whopping 3.3 million shares of Amazon! That's like a whole lotta kibble! We're talking roughly $736.7 million! Holy Testicle Tuesday!
The Master Plan: Operation Share Dump!
Now before you start thinking Bezos is heading for the hills with a bag full of cash this is all part of a pre arranged plan. Apparently the man intends to sell up to 25 million shares by May 2026. That's like me planning to eat… well let's just say a *lot* of tuna. He wants to boldly go where no man has gone before in the stock market.
From CEO to Share Seller Extraordinaire!
Even though Bezos isn't the big cheese CEO anymore – he's just the chairman now relaxing and letting someone else fetch his slippers – he's still got more Amazon shares than a rainforest has monkeys. He's been selling 'em at a steady pace but don't you worry your pretty little minds he's still rolling in the green!
Space Preschools and Protests: Oh My!
What's he doing with all that moolah? Well rumour has it he's funding his space obsession Blue Origin! Giddy up! Gotta get those rockets going! He's also throwing some dough at his preschool project Day 1 Academies. But here's where it gets juicy: his recent wedding in Venice costed around $50 million which caused some protests from local residents. Talk about raining on someone's parade!
Billionaire Beefcake Bonanza!
So where does Bezos stand in the billionaire pecking order? He's number three with a cool $240 billion. Not too shabby! But Elon Musk is still the top dog with $363 billion and Zuckerberg is sitting pretty at $260 billion. It's a jungle out there folks! A real concrete jungle!
Hasta la Vista Baby... to These Shares!
In conclusion Bezos is selling shares funding his dreams and causing a bit of a ruckus. It's all in a day's work for a billionaire. And as I always say if I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer! This is Ace Ventura signing off! Alllllrighty then!
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