ALLLLRIGHTY THEN! Nintendo Switch 2 Mania Sweeps the Globe! Is This Thing Pet-Proof?

Holy Testicle Tuesday! The Hype is Real!

Greetings gentle viewers! Ace Ventura Pet Detective at your service! Or in this case at the service of Nintendo! Apparently the world has gone bananas for the new Switch 2. Word on the street (and by street I mean the internet) is people are lining up like penguins for a fish handout! This new gadget is so popular some stores opened at whacked out hours! Analysts are saying this is HUGE! HUGE I TELL YA! But is it pet proof? That's what I want to know! Can it survive a Rhinoceros birth? Or a close encounter with a monkey? Hmmm...

Switch 2: Is it Better Than Chicken?

This ain't no ordinary electronic device; this is the second highest selling device in Nintendo's history. What's the secret? Well apparently it's this fancy portable design. You can play on your TV then BAM! Attach the controllers and take it on the go! It's like a chameleon only instead of changing colors it changes from a home console to a handheld! Amazing! I'm pretty sure the Pet Mobile doesn't do that...YET! Still I have to say "Do NOT go in there!" about 10 times a day when driving the Pet Mobile! So will this new invention be better than chicken? Better than Tuna? We will have to wait and see!

The Furukawa Factor: Lottery Lunacy!

Nintendo President Shuntaro Furukawa sounds like a real straight shooter! He admits they're swimming in demand! Apparently 2.2 MILLION people in Japan entered a lottery just to BUY this thing! A LOTTERY! That's like trying to find a clean pair of socks in my apartment – almost impossible! And like my apartment demand is beyond what they can supply. Shortages people! Shortages! Looks like somebody needs to call Ace Ventura Fulfillment Detective to find those missing consoles! Unless...Satan is behind this! No that would be too easy...

From Tokyo to Tallahassee: Global Gadget Grab!

It's not just Japan going cuckoo ca choo for this Switch 2. China's got 400,000 reservations! And even in the U.S. of A. folks are lining up before dawn! My sources tell me Walmart is sold out! Doug Bowser (yes Bowser like the turtle from Mario) says they're working with retailers to keep the supply flowing! Keep those consoles comin' Doug! Keep 'em comin'!

Tariff iffic Trouble: Will You Pay More?

Oh but wait! There's a monkey wrench in the works! TARIFFS! Yes that's right the T word! Apparently Trump (who I think I saw once trying to give a treat to a pigeon!) announced some "reciprocal tariffs" which caused Nintendo to delay preorders! And at $449 this is Nintendo's MOST EXPENSIVE console ever! Bowser says the price is safe...for now. But tariffs could change everything! Let's hope this doesn't turn into a real poop storm!

ALL RIGHT! Let's Get to the Bottom of This!

So what's the verdict? The Nintendo Switch 2 is the hottest thing since sliced bread (or maybe since the last time I wore clean underwear)! Demand is through the roof supplies are tight and tariffs are looming! But fear not gentle viewers! Ace Ventura is on the case! I'll sniff out the truth uncover the conspiracies and find out if this thing can REALLY survive a close encounter with a rhesus monkey! Stay tuned! And remember: Love is a mysterious thing! Many things can happen! Especially when you have a Nintendo Switch 2!