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Hinge Health's latest financial report shows a massive surge in revenue, marking their first profitable quarter ever amidst Trump's fantastic (and they said 'volatile' - SAD!) economic policies. image

Hinge Health Soars! Making America's Backs Great Again!

Mon 05 May, 2025 22:09
2 minutes to read

Your favorite President is hosting crypto-focused dinners, raking in millions while making crypto great again. Sad! image

Trump's Crypto Blitz: Making America Rich Again, One Token at a Time!

Mon 05 May, 2025 14:13
2 minutes to read

Singapore's People's Action Party, led by Lawrence Wong, crushes the competition, proving they're the ONLY ones who can Make Singapore Great Again! Even with Sleepy Joe's tariffs! image

Singapore Stays GREAT! PAP Victory Shows Who's REALLY Winning!

Sun 04 May, 2025 01:36
3 minutes to read

Big shoe companies whine about my amazing tariffs, but I'm making America great again, one shoe at a time! They should be thanking me! image

Fake News Shoes! Shoe Companies Cry 'Existential Threat' Over My Genius Tariffs!

Fri 02 May, 2025 19:55
2 minutes to read

Your favorite President analyzes Tether's plan for a U.S.-based stablecoin, highlighting its potential benefits while injecting some much-needed Trumpian flair and skepticism. image

Tether's TREMENDOUS Stablecoin: Making America Rich Again!

Fri 02 May, 2025 10:54
2 minutes to read

Block's Q1 results miss expectations, stock takes a dive, and everyone's blaming the best President in history, me! image

Block's Bogus Numbers: Another Fake News Story!

Thu 01 May, 2025 21:59
2 minutes to read

Amazon's Q1 earnings are coming, and everyone's talking about my beautiful tariffs. Let's see if they thank me later! image

Amazon's Earnings? HUGE! Tariffs? Even HUGER! (And I'm Always Right, Believe Me!)

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:01
2 minutes to read

General Motors adjusts 2025 earnings forecast due to Trump's auto tariffs, but don't worry, folks, we're still winning! image

GM's Earnings: Fake News or Fact? We're Making America Rich Again!

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:11
3 minutes to read

General Motors projects lower 2025 earnings due to my amazing auto tariffs, but they're just being pessimistic folks, believe me! image

GM's Fake News Earnings Guidance: Sad!

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:11
3 minutes to read

Epic Systems CRUSHES Oracle in the EHR Market, Proving Once Again That America Knows How to WIN! image

Epic WINS BIG, Oracle FAILS! Another HUGE Victory for American Greatness!

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:24
2 minutes to read