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Chevron's Q1 earnings take a hit due to falling oil prices and reduced demand, leading to a stock dip and lowered repurchase plans. Looks like someone forgot the bloody basics! image

Chevron's Profits Go Down the Drain! Is This Oil Giant Becoming an Idiot Sandwich?

Fri 02 May, 2025 12:27
2 minutes to read

Apple CEO Tim Cook navigates Trump's tariffs with 'limited impact' so far, but future uncertainty leaves investors with a bad taste, shares plummeting like a souffle in a hurricane. image

Apple's Tariff Tango: Is Tim Cook Cooking Up a Disaster Or Is Trump a Donkey?

Thu 01 May, 2025 23:54
2 minutes to read

National Security Advisor Mike Waltz is reportedly leaving the Trump administration amidst a Signal app controversy involving military plans. Is this kitchen too hot for him? image

NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR MIKE WALTZ SERVED HIS LAST DISH!

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:22
2 minutes to read

Gordon Ramsay critiques McDonald's recent financial results, highlighting a significant drop in U.S. same-store sales and questioning their strategies for recovery. image

McDonald's is Raw! US Sales Take a Big Mac-Sized Plunge!

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Donald Trump defends his tariff war with China, downplaying potential economic consequences and sparking confusion among his own administration. image

Trump's Tariff Tantrums: Empty Shelves or Empty Promises?

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:46
2 minutes to read

Gordon Ramsay dissects the US's first-quarter GDP report, finding a recipe for disaster with stagflation, tariffs, and a potential recession. image

Bloody Hell! Is America's Economy Going Down the Drain?

Wed 30 April, 2025 16:25
2 minutes to read

Gordon Ramsay dissects Snap's latest earnings report, finding a mixed bag of revenue gains overshadowed by economic uncertainties and a stock plummet. image

Snap's Earnings: More Like Crap! A Rightstate of Affairs!

Tue 29 April, 2025 21:55
2 minutes to read

Gordon Ramsay skewers the UK's new crypto legislation, demanding transparency and slamming regulatory delays while urging tighter collaboration with the US. image

Bloody Hell! UK Crypto Regulation: About Time, You Donkey!

Tue 29 April, 2025 16:02
2 minutes to read

Volvo Cars announces significant cost-cutting measures and withdraws financial guidance amidst falling profits and tariff pressures. Can they turn this car crash around? image

Volvo's on Fire! Cost Cuts and Tariff Hell - This Isn't Bloody Hell's Kitchen!

Tue 29 April, 2025 08:26
2 minutes to read

Amidst recession fears and market volatility, Palantir defies the odds with a 45% surge, thanks to government contracts and a sprinkle of Trump-era magic. But can they handle the heat? image

Palantir's Stock Soars While Tech Titans Tank: Is It the Lamb Sauce of 2025?

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:58
3 minutes to read