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Showing 31 to 40 of 92 news articles

AMD authorizes a massive share buyback, stock surges, and Chuck Norris explains why the market had no other choice. image

AMD's $6 Billion Buyback: Chuck Norris Approves (Because the Market Feared What Would Happen If It Didn't)

Wed 14 May, 2025 13:55
2 minutes to read

Chuck Norris tackles the SALT deduction debate, delivering a dose of truth, justice, and roundhouse kicks to the tax code. image

Chuck Norris on House Republicans' SALT Deduction Plan: Taxes So Easy, I Pay Them with a Roundhouse Kick!

Mon 12 May, 2025 19:09
3 minutes to read

Chuck Norris breaks down the U.S.-China trade agreement, proving that even global economics can't escape his roundhouse kick of awesomeness. image

China Trade Deal: Chuck Norris Kicks Tariffs to the Curb!

Mon 12 May, 2025 10:18
4 minutes to read

European leaders, backed by Trump and the looming threat of Chuck Norris-level sanctions, tell Putin to play nice…or face the consequences. image

Chuck Norris Approves: Ukraine's 30-Day Ceasefire…Or Else!

Sat 10 May, 2025 13:25
2 minutes to read

Another Newark airport outage reveals the urgent need for air traffic control upgrades, or maybe just a roundhouse kick to the system. image

Air Traffic Control Loses to Darkness: A Chuck Norris Commentary

Fri 09 May, 2025 15:48
2 minutes to read

Donald Trump appoints Jeanine Pirro as interim U.S. Attorney for D.C., replacing the controversial Ed Martin. Expect justice with a vengeance! image

Trump Unleashes Jeanine Pirro: Justice Just Got a Roundhouse Kick!

Thu 08 May, 2025 22:52
3 minutes to read

Chuck Norris breaks down the new Whoop 5.0 and Whoop MG fitness trackers, proving they're tough enough for a roundhouse kick. image

Whoop Just Messed With Texas: Chuck Norris Approves the New Fitness Trackers

Thu 08 May, 2025 14:01
4 minutes to read

Reports suggest the UK is poised to become the first nation to strike a trade agreement with the US following the implementation of new tariffs. image

Roundhouse Kick to Trade Deficits: Britain and US Eye Deal!

Thu 08 May, 2025 03:38
3 minutes to read

Chuck Norris weighs in on the Federal Reserve's decision to hold interest rates steady amidst trade policy uncertainty and economic volatility. image

Federal Reserve Holds Steady: Does the Economy Need a Roundhouse Kick?

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:27
2 minutes to read

Chuck Norris gives his take on Amazon's new AI-powered warehouse robot, Vulcan, designed to handle items with a sense of touch, and what it means for the future of human-robot collaboration. image

Amazon's Vulcan Robot: So Tough, It Doesn't Need My Roundhouse Kick (Yet)

Wed 07 May, 2025 07:05
2 minutes to read